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Without gratitude, the possessions you now have carry the same value as the possessions you don't have. Blessings, r

Stand Up

It is impossible for two people to be psychologically connected. It is equally impossible that my care, concern, understanding or even love can do anything for you. For if that were true, then your hatred, unconcern, ignorance or even spite could harm me. Blessings, r

Icy Roads

Do you know what you are reaching for? Can you see your frivolous grasping at things that never develop? What do you now have in your possession that is truly yielding something of value, with which you can mark as something you have understood? These temporary vortexes that you constantly experience and conjure up are nothing but mere sideshows in the great stream of life. These constant mini-whirlpools, next to the bank, these illusory fabrications of desire you call your life. You have mistaken these little swirls as life's meaning, but you can't see they are not life's meaning. You cannot see life's meaning, because you cannot get away from your logical self. This plastic self is not real and you refuse to see it as not real. You believe that life is only what you make of it. You cannot see the stage and its many actors simply posing as magicians. I tell you, in every waking moment, there are angels waiting for you. It is possible to sit and not reach. It is possible to become aware of your grasping. There is an occupation of a self that exists that sees all you need is what you, now, already have. Life is trying to introduce you to yourself and it is evident by the white-out, blizzard conditions you find yourself in. Where there is the most despair, where there is the most difficulty, where there is the greatest powerlessness lies the angels of peace, truth and the you that you are looking for. Blessings, r

funny i am

had i not looked at the clock, i would have never felt guilty for sleeping late. oh, how sick i make myself. thoughts are like junk email, the bin needs to be emptied from time to time. if you give them too much play time, they're frequency will increase. blessings, r

Down Under

It is okay if you fall on your face. Believe me, I can attest to this on a daily basis. The beautiful thing about it, today, is I am aware of it. In the past when I fell, I just got stoned or drunk, bought myself something, apologized and when about my merry way, but I didn't go on my merry way. There was nothing merry about it, because I refused to look at it. I didn't feel change was necessary. I didn't know that there might be another way or if it even existed. Often times, it was too painful. Never think that you are above what you are and remember that both the act and the judgement of that act, occupy the same space. YOU cannot separate from yourself. YOU do not have the power to change yourself (just look at how little self-forgiveness you have). It is like a 4th grader telling another 4th grader how great the 5th grade is. Can you see a little better, now. I have only briefly sensed it since the beginning of this page. There are spiritual principles, when rightly and persistently followed, which can give great insight into these areas of you. Don't be afraid to not know. Watch that guilty feeling when you fall (I didn't say if you fall). Keep going in spite of the voices that are telling you, "you can't" or "it is all useless," or "your not worthy." There are many, including myself, who have fallen too (and often times much further). Get back on track. Remember those times when everything was okay because you were okay. No matter where you have gone or where you are, others have been there too. You are not alone. Christ said, "I will never leave you nor forsake you." That, "heaven and earth may come to pass, but my words are forever", and finally, "Deny yourself. Pick up you cross, daily (which includes right now!) and follow me." Love and Peace, with many Blessings. r

Toe Crusher

I have been writing in this open, personal journal for some time now. It has given me a wonderful opportunity to see the progression of my thoughts, as they pertain to the yeng and yang of the past several months. My intention, in the beginning, was to try and reach others through my experiences. Some say I have an innate ability to write down what I am thinking, while others may feel an attitude of overbearance and indifference,. I believe that both of these may be true, nonetheless, I will continue with my open prose because I enjoy it. So, after much earnest deliberation and rightful thinking, I asked, "Do you think that your religion is the narrow gate?" Let me re-phrase this. Is your church attendance, your public works or even your labeling yourself as a "believer" the narrow gate? If this were so, many would be liberated, yet there are so few who are free of doubt, fear, worry, strife, being right and ego-generated materialism. So I ask you again, "Is your self-completed life the narrow gate?" Mercy is not going to come from another person or some outward generated being. Your mercy originates from your own awakened heart. Everything you "really" need is within your reach. It is not separate from you. Don't let your religion or anyone confuse you or create an existence of some illusory, separate entity of which you are not a part of. A wonderful illustration to practically apply this is in Vernon Howard's Esoteric Mind Power. "Exam yourself. See for yourself. Place the spiritual before the material. Check your self-command first, rather than speaking to make an impression." There can be no doubt, if one first stops and sees where all good things really come from. Take your time, but stick with it. You will eventually see it, then everything will begin to make sense. The narrow gate is to wake up! To awaken your hardened heart. To see things as they are, not as you want them to be. To be a conscious and free human being. That is the aim. You can have that now, right this very minute. Wake up! blessings, r

Recognition

Truth never waivers. Though I may wander aimlessly, truth never does. Having known even the slightest glimpse, my life is changed forever. Blessings, r

Parenting and the Current of God

I was doing laundry this morning (re-read "House Husband") and I couldn't locate the clothes basket. I wandered down to my daughter's room to look for it (that is where I go if I need to locate the cordless phone, scissors or the channel changer). I knocked on the door and asked, "Sydney?". "Yes", she replied. "Are you dressed?", I asked. She answered, "Yes, come in". I opened the door to find her freshly bathed, in her robe, sitting on the bed with an expression on her face similar to a squirrel with a box of nuts. "What are you doing?" I asked. "Oh, just praying, you know, chatting", she calmly replied. I did find the laundry basket in her closet, picked it up and went on about the duty of doing the laundry. I begin folding the whites, all the while allowing her words to loom with me. After a little while I begin to feel the current of the spirit radiate through me. What was instigated by a small and brief conversation, soon levitated to something very meaningful to me. It then dawned on me that all of the pain and suffering that I endured in the beginning of my recovery from drug addiction, all the work I had to put in to learn how to live again, all the reading, praying, investigation and examination I have experienced, came to a resounding and culminating penultimacy in a very brief moment. That these tumultuous efforts really didn't go unnoticed and, in time, inexplicably permeate to those around us. The transfer is inevitable. The current of God is a living, intelligible love. How grateful I am for my life and for the opportunity to have, even if only briefly, experienced something beyond myself. How beautiful is the gift of parenting, belonging, purposefulness and the current of God. Blessings, r

Cold Food

Most people live their entire lives trying to prevent things that never happen. You say that your beliefs are true, but what good are they to you if you forget to live them. What good does belief do for people who have never known how to live a practical life. (Sniglet: Good things come to those who shower frequently). Blessings, r

Road Block

Everything that I may perceive and experience, whether physical, mental or emotional, is directly related (100%)to my thought process. How I view all outward things is entirely based and motivated from an inward makeup (or attitude). I could then assume that all psychosomatic disorders can be attributed to a negative waver in one's psychological viewpoints of what they think they need, what they assume to know or not know and any or all related outward measures which are assumed to be their demise. Very simply: You are what and how you think. It can be no different. We all know that outward circumstances or things have no bearing on one's internal makeups. It all happens from the inside out. However, there are some who see these conflicts as an opportunity to not only change, but further fuel an inward conquest of that beautiful kingdom we have come to know as the True Self. All of our assumed abnormalities, when conditioned over time, can definitely created further problems (what today may be coined as syndromes), which can be traced, though not entirely, to seasonal, conditional or situational thought processes. When seen in it's entirety, many will discount, flee or discard. Those who do not see these as viable options are closest to seeing something unique about themselves and very special. It is when in the company of these subtle, yet powerful forces, that we arrive at a brink of self-realization and the acknowledgement of personal truth.

Exerpt from 'Inner Man'

Roam with them outwardly,

Inward separation,

A true hero won’t bark

At the obama nation.

From the song entitled, "Inner Man"
Written by Gabe Choate and Randall Smith
performed by The Ghost and Jimi Gabriel

Enjoy your Thanksgiving! Go Cowboys! Go Horns! blessings, r

Upon Further Review

It is absolutely and positively correct for you to totally and completely accept yourself right now. That acceptance is who you are this very minute. You are definitely who you are suppose to be right now. You do not need words or thoughts or any other positive influence for this wonderful acceptance. There is nothing wrong with you nor in your life and there never has been. You are exactly in the right path. You can let this wonderful life be lived or you can keep trying to define it. Christ's exact words were, "I did not come for the righteous I came for the sinners and repentance". Repentance is your aid. There should be no negative connotations with it. It simply means to turn and look behind you. It is simply a casual act of examining and recognizing the desire-oriented activities of your imagined self and upon the recognition of those traits (guilt, shame and judgement, etc...), quietly and consciously release them. That is all there is to it. This is what is meant by "awakest thou that sleepest." Enjoy this wonderful day! blessings, r

Dinner Bell

"Give us this day our daily bread..." Many are familiar with Christ's shining example of how a person should pray. What is meant by "bread" is everything necessary to sustain human life. This would be everything not of the spirit. Granted everything we need are provisions made possible by God. Daily bread would include food, money, possessions, clothing, homes, cars, recreation, leisure, health, etc... Christ also stated that, "Man cannot live by bread alone." It is very important for a man to understand that he cannot live by these provisions alone and that these provisions are merely blessings and are not meant for us to become possessive nor obsessive with them. It matters not if a man has many or few. He cannot simply sustain himself by bread alone. Man, however, is basically evil and it is in this evil nature that he falsely and ignorantly assumes that it is his possessions, or the quest of these possessions, is the meaning of his life. They are not and his inner misery and doubt proves it. "To be born of the spirit," is when an unsatisfied man reaches the end of his fill and quests for worldly bread. It is in this place where he is given the opportunity to, at least, entertain the idea that there is something that can sustain his life. That sustained life he so desperately seeks is not of bread, but of spirit. He finds something he cannot touch, buy, save for or barter for. The good news is in his questions to himself about it. His questioning alone proves of its existence. This opens the door, and though we may blunder a 1000 times, the door will always be opened to a sincere and honest heart. Be of good cheer. Travel lightly and don't push so hard at understanding. Don't be so concerned with how to do it or if you are doing it properly. You have everything you need whether you realize it or not. If life becomes difficult, if you sense a certain emptiness, find a quiet place and pray. Talk to God and admit to him that you don't know what to do and that everything is getting in the way. If you need to cry, then cry. This the good stuff, be grateful that you have come to this place. This is the realness of your life. How wonderful it is that Christ promised he would never leave us or forsake us. If you need to put your books down for a while then do that. Throw out all "bread" if necessary to get to that special and quiet place. It feels really good to let go in this manner. Don't worry about finding it, he will find you. Be persistent. You are already well on your way. Blessings, r

Signals

"I am the way, the truth and the light" John 14:6. Most of us are very familiar with these timeless words from Christ. It is one of the greatest forms of strength any individual can experience. This experience resounds the warmth and nurturing of the complete personal surrender of the heart, (not the head). I often ask myself why it is that these words seem to lose their hold on me so often and so frequently. The answer always comes from this important observation: The evil one, darkness, the ego, the false self, whatever you want to name it, says it too. Yes, darkness steers his attacks, disguising himself as you, and he will use EVERYTHING to steer you away from the light. One of his many tricks is to making you think that YOU are the way, the truth and the light. That you are entitled to keep this all to yourself. That you never have to share this with yourself (or anyone else) and that you are the cynical center. He will go to any length to keep you prisoner, even with these most chain breaking words. The center of his mastery is your ego, the governing seat of his illusory headquarters. He declares his reign through your passions, your slothfulness, your desires, your so called "rights", your obsessions, your guilt, your condemning nature, and especially your, seemingly unscathed, belief system. It is during these raging storms that one must hunker down. Without looking for an escape route, I must allow any resistance to the light to pass, (even if the only way is right through me). I can take it. I can watch without entering the arcade. I can alertly observe without screaming out for help or running to the next book or discipline. This is what darkness wants from me, total confusion. I can choose to fight, run or just sit back and watch, knowing all the while that I am obligated to nothing he can offer. It has already been done for me. It is in these times (it matters not the length of the storm), that I can be still and know that everything is okay. The light from the head is darkness. The light from the heart is itself. blessings, r

Faith

The wonderment of not knowing what life is all about. If I am going to build something I must have the tools, materials and instructions before the tasks begin. Before anything can be accomplished, preparation must be done. Now, ask any contractor where he spends most of his time in a project and he will tell you it is in the preparation, or "prep" work. A good job is in direct accordance to how much diligent preparation goes into the job, before the first nail is struck. These are the most important areas that usually goes unseen by most, but are the greatest contributors to project failures. A project is efficiently completed when orderly preparation precedes the project, and that that regime of order is maintained throughout the entire construction process. So, let us tie together both faith and work. When you are diligently following a plan or are carefully following the instructions of a project, do you worry about the end results? If you said yes, then you have probably not thoroughly prepared, have left out a specific tool required or have shorted your materials list. In this case, you may have skip over something in an attempt to hurriedly get to the end results It would be wise to stop and re-evaluate (through one's own self-examination). Faith, on the other hand, is not knowing if the plan will work, but because we have seen that we are, in and of ourselves, inept, we consciously surrender ourselves to, at least, the possibility that it may. This is where most stop, but through endurance and perseverance all things are possible Spiritually speaking, Christ prepared a way for us to complete a wonderful life project. This preparation was given to us with very specific instructions needed for the creation of a beautiful work of art. We do not have to, nor can we, create the instructions. We need only follow the instructions laid before us. (Caution! here is where the ego wants to play and in it's effort to substantiate itself, will try everything within its power to isolate you from the desire to follow to the need to lead, be in charge, judge, condemn, etc...). The preparation has already been completed. Your diligent effort of review is vital. You can find these instructions in what I refer to as the red print. These are Christ's words, his instructions to those who are willing to pick up their cross, daily, and follow him. Let me warn you that these instructions cannot be implemented collectively, but only through one's own diligent efforts. Your success in your life project is your daily efforts and your daily efforts alone for the great plan and the knowledge of that entity are his. Carefully review your prep work (I can't, he can, so I think I will let him). The results belong to God, leave it at that for success is sure to come. blessings, r

A Key to the Kingdom

Another way of existing to yourself, to become more aware of the important focus of what we should be striving for, would be to not think too much about what we're not doing. This sounds like an oxymoron doesn't it? But, pause for a moment. An unrealized life process doesn't exist. If I am not conscious, if my minute by minute goal is not oriented towards complete awareness of the ever present now, then I do not exist to myself. I am merely chasing whatever pops into my fantasy filled, thrill-seeking head. It is this mental chasing with one thing while mechanically performing another, that I am speaking of. There is no difference between fighting illusory demons or entertaining pleasure seeking dreams, they are both life robbers and the really sad and bad part of it, is that we allow it. Shame on you and shame on me. Vernon Howard stated during a lecture that human beings sell their soul by the minute, not by the year, not by the week, but by the minute to whatever comes along. This realized truth should bother you, it did me. So what is your next unrealized step? Will you discount it because it is too painful or will you allow the truth to help you. These types of truths is what Christ tried to awaken an asleep world with. They are not disguised by anything when seen nor can they confuse. They may cause pain, but what pain are you be willing to endure to awaken to something new. Blessings, r

red rover, red rover...

Vernon Howard's
SECRETS OF LIFE (R)

**********************************************************************


"By refusing to chase around mentally, you gradually weaken the
power of useless thoughts. False ideas can be compared with a
huge fan whirling at furious speed. It blows out a destructive
gale. But if you don't empower that wheel, it slows down, loses
its destructive force."

Psycho-Pictography, p. 67

Marriage is a consumate agreement between two people. Weddings are an excuse for ordinary people to become neurotic. blessings, r

Bare Necessities

There is a small nucleus of principles which govern the entire universe. Find them, stay with them and live fully. blessings, r

Pier and Beam

Quote of the Month:

"The soul's communication of truth is the highest event in nature...and this communication is an influx of the Divine Mind into our own mind...Every moment when the individual feels invaded by it is memorable." (Ralph Waldo Emerson)




Falling in Love with the Light

Picture yourself down in a deep, dark cellar. There is a beam of light that breaks through the door above. Your work is to fall in love with the beam of light - to become fascinated by it. Falling in love with the beam of light increases the light. It opens space inside of you for more of the light. Now, without really thinking about it, your false attraction to the dark cellar begins to fall away.

Eventually you climb out of the cellar and on to the earth. Now you can go anywhere you like. For example, there are giant libraries full of books for you to read.

As you continue to love the light more and more, you are lifted off the face of the earth even more. Your home becomes the stars.

Author Vernon Howard conveyed this illustration in one of his classes. He added, "The beam of light will tell you everything - even what books to read."


From my friend Tom, blessings, r

Fresh Step

I used to discipline my cat for going out side the litter box, then I realized all I had to do was keep her litter box clean. Oh, what our animals can teach us! blessings, r

Amazing Grace

I don't feel good because the world is right. The world is right because I feel good. Sometimes it is better to turn off the TV, pass on the morning read in the local newspaper or wake up to the alarm rather than the radio. To just move about without the dirt of outside media. Emerson once said that for every step a man takes forward, society takes two backwards. Actually society has never advanced. It is impossible for an unawakened society to do anything but rely on its many, handy sleeping pills. How often do we, ourselves, get caught in the mist of prejudice, judgement and opinionated triviality. Admittedly, I have found myself in this slumbering fog. I allow myself to be hypnotized by what others deem important, when it actually has little to do with me (even Americanized propaganda). The news and its paper are best epitomized by Mr. Thoreau, "if you've read about one cow getting hit by a train, you have read about them all." Nothing "out there" is ever really new. It is just dressed-up redundancy disguised as something you need to know. As for me, I must be watchful of my thought processes and not allow myself to become one of their statistics. It is not difficult. Follow them around, consciously, and see for yourself. Filling time is easy for an unattended mind. The next time that inner voice tries to coerce you into following him, refuse. I, personally, am spending the next 48 hours watching the antics of these "so-called" production managers. Observe how important what they are trying to motivate you to do, really is. Enjoy a quiet day. Try something new or do something familiar, different. blessings, r

X Files

Vernon Howard's
SECRETS OF LIFE (R)

**********************************************************************


"Q: What is behind this constant fear I have that another crisis
is coming my way?

A: This is called self-prophesy and is one of the most foolishly,
valuable possessions that any human being ever has. Now, not just
this lady, but the rest of you have the same dreads, don't you?
Don't you have the fear, the apprehension that something bad is
going to happen to you tomorrow or the next day or a year from
now?

You know there is so much to learn, and let's take just one of
them for now in reply to the lady's question. As long as you
are living in a time-condition nature you will always fear the
future because the future is a part of your time nature. You can
rise above it and live fully and freely right now, this very
moment, in which there is no future for you at all because you
have it all right now.

You had better investigate why you don't find this present
moment of living for yourself in this higher nature. Find out
why you don't discover that. Find out why you prefer, incredibly
to go day after day and month after month worrying over tomorrow,
and I mean this right down in practical things like worrying over
money. Nothing is excluded."

DVD # 4, Talk 4 Questions and Answers

Jack Of All Trades

Dear Friends,

Do not be alarmed by what you read. Most of my encryptions are merely summations of daily influences that pass through my mind. It is my writing that allows me to see simple truths about what I live, make decisions about, whine and wail over or let go of. There are always lessons to learn and new obstacles to overcome. The bottom line is I am trying to find out how this mechanical machine, I call my mind, really works. In order for me to do this I must stand alone for brief periods of time, or longer, until I reach that level of understanding and I must do this no matter what the costs. I must face all of life with all of me, otherwise, nothing will ever be truly learned. All of my negative influences, and yours, reside within us. We must choose what is best for us using total life exposure, including nuances others throw on us as to what we need to do (or should do) about whatever. Personally, no one ever hurt me as bad as I have hurt myself. The blame game stopped some time ago, but it took many years of turmoil and heartache for me to get to a point where I began to see this. The crescendo of guilt and condemnation, then, really began to rare its ugly head. That is what I work on the most, nowadays. The dragons in the darkness of my mind work on me feverishly. Cunning they are, constantly using mental pictures to gain my interest. That is really all they want, my attention. They carry nothing of any real value. They are simply dirty little thieves disguising themselves as who I (falsely) think I am. Shame on me for falling for the bright and shiny hoaxes. Let me explain what little I know about the light. It is not anything like the cheap imitations paraded in front of me by the dungeon ones. No! It is nothing like that. Unfortunately (and the fact that I am completely stubborn), the light cannot be on this level. The light will come with hard work, dedication, persistence and endurance. I am speaking of inner work not digging a ditch or making a million dollars. That is the part I choose to play. The benefits are nothing like dark benefits. The dark side is characterized by uneasiness, conflict, doubt, despair, sleeplessness, obsession, thinking about oneself, etc...

One such dark spot, that intervened when I was a small boy, was my grandmother commented to me that I "was a jack of all trades, master of none". Today, I realize that this was the ultimate compliment, but as a small child I misconstrued this to be a derogatory remark. It would not be necessary to go into any great length as to my mental make-up at the time (most of which is still coming to me), but it would be obvious that I had already begun to suffer from a low sense of self-esteem. The fields were ripe and my misunderstood conception on that one comment, sent me into a downward spiral that has taken years to come to the surface. I am not a child anymore, nor am I eligible to blame anyone for those awkward, circumstantial events. It is my responsibility to go on a search for the truth in my own mind. I will not excuse myself, nor discount any feelings, that I have today regarding my responsibility to detect those itinerant dragon heads. I am one to become aware of how these learned, adopted attitudes influence every emotional storm that may come about in my life. Folks, this is not weakness. This is real, unheralded courage. This is the constitution of real genius. Know that this kind of wisdom, which supersedes all intelligence, is the fruit of true knowledge. I hope you have learned something about what you are to do about yourself. I know I have. Blessings, r

Tiskit-A-Taskit

It would seemingly be impossible for self-will and surrender to occupy the same space. Logically speaking, self will has many useful benefits in everyday day life, but is of no use to the laws of one's spirit. An individual over-run with the will of self must, eventually, give way to the law of the spirit if he truly wants real change. This is an opportunistic event, but most people never truly see it, understand it or accept it's loving freedom from their present imprisonment. It is within this remarkable, unaided courtship that a person can truly see that what he thinks about himself, what he thinks he should do for himself or what he thinks is best for himself can do nothing to fill his inward emptiness. Bottom line: He cannot make himself happy. He is not happy because he is not aware of his human condition. He thinks he is this condition, but he is not. He is something else, but doesn't know it. He does not want the truth because he thinks he must give up himself, yet these thoughts he has about himself are the underlying cause of his misery. How absurd man is! A man cannot think his way out of this unconscious state. It is only when a man sees this phenomena, when he exhausts all of his limited means, schemes, dreams and purposes, will he ever arrive at the door of child-like learning. To surrender himself he must: stand naked before God, not allow himself to fall back on past mental escape attempts, not know anything about where he must go or what he must do. Once he is completely exhausted from all of his futile attempts, will he then find himself at the door of a new, not just different, world. It is in this path oriented epoch that he will truly see the peace and strength of surrender, the beginning of true knowledge. Though he blunders 10,000 times, this unconditional love is always within his reach. It was made for him, before him and not created by him, (forgiveness is the true awareness of this fact and without his self-judgement or self-condemnation, brought about by his lower-leveled will, forgiveness itself would not need to exist). How absurd man is! He can be at peace and go wherever life leads him. He can now enter into a new world of not only not knowing, but not caring to know since he knows he knows nothing and that not knowing is the greatest knowledge of all. Blessings, r

Put It In Neutral

"THE RIGHT START"

'We wish a right start in these classes,' said Lee, a member
of a new study group. 'May we have some direction?'

'Start as if you know nothing at all about the way out. Now of
course this is insulting to vanity and frightening to hardened
thought. Do it anyway. Vanity and hardened thought can only keep
you in dismal prison. Dare to not know the answers, dare to dis-
card silly superstition which masquerades as respectable tradition.
Do this ten times a day, every time you feel tempted to pretend you
know what you are talking about. Pretense is the very prison itself.
Begin every day with the wonderment of not knowing what life is all
about. This is true power, refreshment and relief. Eventually, a new
feeling of rightness will arise within.'

You can make a new right start every single second, for your real
nature is not chained by five minutes or fifty years ago."

Inspire Yourself, p. 34 - VH

If you stop and take the time to watch children. This is what they do. They are not concerned with knowing anything. They know they don't know and have no pretense as to what is right or what is wrong. They are in neutral and moving forwards or backwards is of no concern to them. But, watch what happens when adults begin to say, "Don't do that" or "You are so good." Now a reinforcement interrupts a natural flow. I am not saying let little children play in the street with fast, moving cars or with bottles of poison. I am speaking of the adult mind. Thinking that it knows what is best for children and themselves. They have forgotten what a free mind is like, because they too, have become hardened with wrongful ideas surrounded by a false need of a purposeful engaging. Watch what happens when adults must declare a winner and a loser as children play. So, it should come as no surprise, that you have become a victim of winning, losing and results in your life. Many just accept that this is the way it is because they have forgotten what freedom is like, and besides, everyone else is doing it. Your television enhances and promotes winning, losing and results. They promote these ideas of "you need to know" and they do everything in their power to warehouse the masses. There are thousands of examples of these adult games and they are all fast sinking ships. It is up to you to observe it and choose the only way to win at the merry-go-round, "Don't Play!" Allow yourself to disengage several times a day. Observe what you are doing by watching and sensing your breathing, muscle tension, movements of your extremities and fingers. Become away of the room you are in and that you are in it. Notice the room's sound and color. Start by sitting for a bit, then as you get up and move, carry it with you. This is the only way you can begin to exist to yourself and not the masquerades of others. blessings, r

Trance

A man walking around thinking about himself is no different than his dreams while sleeping. As long as he does not exist to himself, he is asleep to life. In essence, there is no difference. You can introduce the beginning of a wonderful liberation if you would only slightly grasp this. No, we mustn't be like this. Take for instance a bad dream. While in the dream you have no ability to change the dream. You are at the mercy of it's direction and impulses. Your ego is on hold, it is powerless and you are trapped in it's story. Dreaming is an indication of deep sleep (REM). You are unconscious to yourself. A good dream will leave you sleeping, but a bad one (what we call a nightmare) may wake you up. Upon awakening, you may find your breathing rapid, you may be sweating profusely and your heart rate may be rapid, but as you gather yourself, you reach over and touch the loved one your dream was about and everything is okay. It was just a dream, a bad one, but just a dream. It may have temporarily had control of what you thought you were, but now that you are awake you see that it was just an illusion in slumber. Waking states are no different. A man walks around asleep if he is not conscious (aware) of what his body and movements are doing though his thought processes may be whirling a thousand miles a minute. The only way to snap the spell is through impartial, detached, self-observation. The difference between a man thinking about himself and impartial observation is nothing more than personalization. A thinking man believes he is his thoughts while a man in observation sees thoughts from afar and merely watches them pass by. He recognizes them and then drops them. A thinking man grabs hold as if he is mandated to do something about it. He does not realize that he doesn't have to do anything. He is unaware that he is free to drop any thought whatsoever. Incidentally, as a man grows more conscious of himself in his inward and outward environment (within the present moment), the speed of his thought processes are non-factors. Stick with these concepts for a few days. When they pop up, you will know it and you will know what to do. r

"Not too serious and not too lightly, rather seriously-lightly" Vernon Howard

Pogo Stick

I would not consider myself a religious man. My realizations have come to a wonderful conclusion that I, by nature, am one who doesn't easily conform to the orders of a maddened society. It is not cynical to see through the masks of men. I learned a very valuable asset for a true seeker and that is one of attraction rather than promotion. I am at best itinerant, a wanderer who listens to the beat of a distant drummer. I had at one time thought myself to be one who was becoming bitter, then realized my bitterness wasn't true independence but rather dependent fighting disguised as independence. I did this with my father for many years, but was to afraid to stand up for myself(and was never encouraged to do so). This followed me for many years and on into addiction. Fear the cause, addiction the symptom. I was reading the red print one day, after my release from treatment, and happened across these word's:

"If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it."

The 2 important phrases here, for me, are "deny himself daily" and "loses his life for me."

There is NO once saved always saved for me. That is only a fictitious idea and has no practical value in my life. My life is daily. What worked for me yesterday will probably not work today. Denying my excitements, my dreaming and my scheming. This is only half of daily denial. The other half is denying my FEAR, my doubts and any confusion that may be in the way. "Losing his life (which could just have easily said "lie") for me", not in spite or because it is, superficially, something to do. In order for me to begin to follow this great teaching, I must first, be aware of what I am to be denying. Watch yourself in the morning. See how "apparent" good fortune becomes parts of the pogo stick. Excitement then depression, plus then minus, dreaming and failure, ecstatic and exhaustion. Do you now see the purpose and application of denial? Do you now see what you should deny? It is the illusions your mind creates for you. Don't buy into it. Denial favors you, but only if you see it, first. Think about this for the next couple of days.

"The man who has nothing, has everything" Vernon Howard

Blessings, r

Trick or Treat

I can never remind myself enough to stay wake to myself. There are no paid vacations for no work, there are no vacations awarded to an unattended mind. When I write, I am writing to myself and for myself. I am learning that the only way I can truly help another human being is to share, and share only, what I have experienced, for and by, myself. I do not benefit if you are helped, not really, although the ego wants me to think so. I am not the source of any power, strength or wisdom. It is free, ample, ever flowing, borrowed and never bought. There is a constant re-generation happening moment by life succeeding moment. My only aim is to be aware of this state in my own consciousness and to catch myself when unawakedly blinded. I am one who must constantly be reminded that darkness will always be sneaking around a corner, disguising itself as my thoughts and is constantly working to keep me from the light of awareness, self-observation and examination. Most of what unfolds to an unawakened mind is untrue and I limit myself to the omniscient light that I so often, and mistakenly, take for granted. I am never justified by complacency, that is for the dubious man. I strive to get out of myself, never doing battle, never fighting, never running and learning to walk slowly away. I am reminded by the way, the truth and the life by my own shocks and personal blunders. I have never truly benefited from the mistake of someone else. I will not condemn for long nor move too deep into judgement, I have spent too many years doing that and it doesn't work. I have been forgiven before the act and it is the awareness of forgiveness that is forgiveness. It is my responsibility to see that being unconscious to the truth is not a fault only a misunderstanding. It is these misunderstandings that pave the way for life learning and there will always be something new to learn. It is within my power to stop the train, turn it around, go in a new direction and start right now. Here is something that a friend of mine wrote to remind me of painful encounters. I would like to share it with you, so that you too can work at your own freedom:

"Try to watch your thinking. If pain accompanies your thoughts, see it, and work to drop the thoughts responsible for the pain. They will tell you that they are there to free you from the disturbance, but right thinking toward the states reveals that the pain is there because these same disturbing thoughts have managed to drag you into their disturbed world. The more you see the truth of your inner state, the easier it becomes to drop both the troubling state and the wrong thinking responsible for it."
---Guy Finley, Seeker's Guide to Self-Freedom---

Writing, reading and the contemplation thereof, have great medicinal value. I would encourage you to work with these timeless components. I receive much peace and contentment from the efforts. Keep your body healthy this winter. The flu season is already upon us. A healthy mind and a healthy body enhance our awareness of the spirit. There is so much to learn my friends, there is so much to learn. Stay well... blessings, r

remedies

Looking for remedies to your worries and complaints? Stay away from opposites. They just further your worries and complaints. How can the same mind, that asks the question, also provide an answer? Stay with the worry and complaint. They are just hanging around, loitering. They have no real power unless you give it to them, which is what thinking opposites will do. Just let them hang around. Soon, they will give up,leave and go loiter somewhere else. blessings, r

What is Hip?

I was tossing and turning last night in bed. There was a thought in my mind that I just couldn't seem to shake. Actually, it was a guitar riff in my head that had been with me all day (I am not a guitar player, nor do I profess to be one). This guitar riff was actually the symptom of an escape mechanism for a day in which my thought base had been utter chaos. This is an indication that I was not conscious to myself nor my present environment. Just because it was time to go to sleep doesn't mean the magical sleep chime is going to go off. My sleep is indicative of how the past day was spent. It all adds up. What I get from a day is what my thought considered valuable in those successive moments. It can't be different. If I have a thought in my head that is terrorizing me, what do I do? I could, like I have done many times, replace it with another, more pleasant thought. This may or may not work. Since I have already identified with this tyrannical thought the latter will probably hold true. When in these times it is beneficial to not try and replace a thought with another. Why? All thought is based on something that is drawn from a previous experience, in other words, it has already taken place. Therefore, it is not new, just different. Since a different thought is not new, I am still imprisoned by myself playing both prisoner and jailer. It is in these times that I must practice the art of letting my thought or thoughts die. To not replace one with another. To just leave the space blank for a moment and let something else, not created with MY mind, take over. To allow something of a higher plane carry me to wherever it pleases, so long as I am not the inventor or creator. It works and over time, with practice, instills a new sense of an easier self. Blessings, r

House of Pain

I don't believe I have suffered any more than anyone else, but what I am experiancing is only happening to me. I stumble into truth to the exact accordance of what is ailing me. Just hang in there, God is on your side. If you were not conscious of an inward conflict, why do you condemn yourself for having it? blessings, r

A Farewell To Arms

"The more we awaken to how we actually are-and start to feel all the forces randomly operating within us, with no guidance apart from the "good" each separate self desires at the moment-the more we realize the need for a new kind of unity, a wholeness we are unable to create by ourselves, within ourselves.
With this new understanding comes the dawning that the only way to accomplish our higher intuitions in life is to start embracing God's intention for us to be whole and conscious creatures. Our will must be redirected, married to a Greater One."

'Seekers Guide to Self-Freedom' - Guy Finley

Slowly and carefully, I have begin to notice this quiet phenomena in my own life. In fact, the birth of this kind of wisdom begin many years ago. Only recently have I been able to conduct and notice, through experiment, a certain truth that appears to be trying to shine through. If I am protecting, defending or at arms with this wonderful insight, then I am unconscious to myself and incapable of receiving its liberating power. Forget how the outside is, this is your quest for truth. If I can pause, in this moment, to see what is really going on inside of me, then I am ultimately at the precipice of a new kind of understanding. Only by seeing these random forces operate as the assumed "I" or "myself", will I be able to detect their attempts to describe and assume to know goodness. As previously stated, this is not possible. That this real goodness cannot be created by me (it matters not the amount of prayer, meditation, intention or reading I do). This new kind of unity is beyond the "goodness" of my created I's. It is not out of reach, however, and is as close as this very moment. Spend some quiet time with this. Understanding is a dawning that only comes within ourselves, by ourselves. It is a conscious letting go of preconceived premonitions and attitudes we have about ourselves and what we really are. To see, but not side with what we think is us mechanically, is the seed to a new and contented unification with God. It brings us to a consciousness that is not from our mind, but rises quietly and surely from our true heart. blessings, r

Stand Up

It is hard enough to find yourself, alone, then to have to explain yourself along the way. It is a trap not worth falling into. It is true that belonging to can yield, but it doesn't have near the potential as not belonging to. This path of not belonging to is difficult. There will be no one that you will be able to (really) lean on. There will be wonderful rest stops along the way. If you dare more, you will get more. Reality/God/Truth is on your side. There is only one requirement. That you be willing to look at everything that may appear to be harmful and know that it's existence will pass, is temporary and is unreal. Remember that you, and you alone, put it there. Understanding this machine we have created is very difficult. Look how quickly we run from what we don't and won't understand. blessings,r

Dreamer and Schemer

"Every once in awhile I'll bring up the following word to you - the
word _daring_. Now without daring in life, spiritual daring, nothing
is going to happen to you except what already has happened to you.
And one of the worst things that's going to continue to happen to
you is called scheming. You're a schemer aren't you? A dreamer and
a schemer. The schemes lead to dreams. And you think if you can get
enough schemes going in the right direction, the dreams will come
true. Daring means for you to have the courage to know that you are
a lost human being - and you are." VH

Oneness

Over the past couple of weeks, I have felt as though there was this invisible wall being built separating me from the human race. As I began to watch this phenomena take place I observed the frequency of disgust towards people, organizations, inherent philosophies, the works. The whirlwind of argument was taking place and yet, no one was around. I sensed that something was deeply wrong and this culminated after a talk that I had one evening with my daughter. Yes, it was true. I found myself as a cynical old hoot. Disgusted, I decided to take a deeper look and what was revealed was that I can be and am one with God, the universe and myself. I am not, and have never been separated from him. Now, there are philosophies floating around that man has been separated from God. I, for one, am not buying it. He is separated by his own illusions or the adopted illusions of men. He must, first and foremost, investigate and find it for himself. This is a brief explanation of separation. In order for me to believe in the "I", I must make a contrast and that is you as you. I deliberately, though unconsciously, create you as either friend or foe. These are created by me because I have falsely accepted the "I". Once I create the "I", then I must now separate and defend, because I have falsely created you as friend or foe . Egotistically, I am right, you are wrong. It is I who judge you, categorize you, speak falsely of you, despise you, side with you for self-gain. See, this false "I" is illusory and when created in the mind leaves separation and isolation in the wake. It is subtle in it's approach. How conscious is the man who identifies with the "I"? He is asleep to himself, God, the universe and mankind. He can awaken through awareness and self-observation. He can be free by not letting his conjured-up ideas stick to him, by letting truth be his guide and not rely on his own intuition.. I am one with God, the universe, mankind and myself. Therefore I am one with you. There is much I can learn from mankind, but only if I see his heartache in myself. If there is a separation it is because I have created it and oh, what heartache it brings.

Toxic Waste

"It is a world of pathetic people going through the agonizing
motions of trying to appear real." -VH

That's the way, uh huh uh huh, I like it uh huh uh huh. Oh this mighty struggle to establish and maintain identity. Is it working for you? Does it make the doubt, worry and daily anxiousness go away? Do you even know what you are doing and that you lie in a dangerous trap? More of the same maybe different, but it is not new. What are your beliefs doing for your heart. If they are in your head, but your heart still aches, I suggest you question what constitutes belief. So ponder this: What if I had no identity with anything whatsoever? Now that would be something new to look into. blessings, r

MS

"Mental sickness has set up a system by which it never loses.
No matter what you do and no matter what the results are, you
will win an ego-victory. That means that when you send your
desires out into the world: 1. You will get what you want,
or 2. You won't get what you want. If you get what you want,
the pseudo-nature says, "I have at last been given what I so
richly deserve," and the sickness feels affirmed. If you don't
get what you want, you feel sorry for yourself. You still feel
affirmed because you get a feeling, and that's all that neurosis
wants is a feeling." VH

Whirled Peas

It is not selfish for a man to live as he sees fit. It is selfish to expect others to live as he sees fit. I am finding that the larger an organization grows, the less interested I am in belonging to it. Too much attention in outward infrastructure leaves me distracted from what is most important and that is my own inward kingdom. I believe Christ is right and that man is still wrong, "You want the darkness rather than the light." Massive organization hysterically mistakes and misleads the light for the darkness. A man cannot occupy any level he himself does not understand. I don't care who is saying what, a man won't truly understand until HE sees for himself. Give man the opportunity to experience his own shock. That is the only way he can truly find himself. You cannot and never will be able to lead him out of his misery until he himself surrenders to it. He must do it alone, besides, you too are evil. So the next time you feel the urge to fix someone, entrust yourself with this wonderful decree, "Leave others alone." Blessings, r

What once were vices now become habits

Whether a person is aware of it or not, he is assaulted constantly
by misleading and hostile voices within the mind. They speak both
through you and to you. Everyone is their target, but because of
their extreme cunning, few people ever detect and dismiss them. So
the only problem is a lack of information about these foreign voices.
The curing facts are as close as your desire for them.

It is extremely important for you to remember the following truth:
these hurtful voices ARE NOT you, and they do not belong to you, but
merely speak through your psychic system. Don't take them as being
your own voices, any more than you take radio voices as being your
own. They simply USE unaware human beings. Your true nature has
nothing to do with them. When finally dismissing these sinister
speakers you make room for spiritual health and true life."

SOLVED The Mystery Of Life, p. 145

Enjoy, blessings, r

Vision

I used to be able to see a tick on a deer's ass from 400 yards, now, I can't even see the deer. Oh well, I can still get a readers 5 pack for 12 bucks. r

Appearences Can Be Deceiving

I passed by a mirror the other day and caught a glimpse of an image that had absolutely nothing to do with me. It was just a vehicle, by which, to get around the earth.

As Good As It Gets

When was the last time you enjoyed yourself? How much freedom have you given yourself, without some instruction, some book or some borrowed idea (about how you are suppose to act, feel or be)? Sometimes head knowledge and the intensity of action doesn't allow God do his work. We think too much at times, spinning with "What should I do?" I had one such day today. I spent a day where everything just came together the way God intended it to. It was peaceful, unrestrained and unorchestrated. It just flowed throughout my being as I worked and as I played. I noticed, mostly, the subtle things, like what my hands were doing, how I was breathing and the wind gently blowing after a heavy rain. I guess, honestly, there was nothing wrong with just letting happen, what happened. I didn't create today, so why do I think I need to create tomorrow. Let God regenerate your soul for you by spending some peaceful, quiet and unrestrained time with yourself. He enjoys that too. Blessings, r

MIP

Remember this important fact: What You have done can't hurt You. What You have been has no authority over You, NOW.

If I feel the need to get on my knees then, by all means, I must do so. If, however, I want absolute clarity I must spend some time seeing that all past follies are built on the shaky blocks of memory, imagination and preference* (MIP). I am only pained by these characteristics of the unawakened, mechanical self. These blocks of MIP are the makers of unnecessary grief and false imprisonment. The only way to break free of the shackles from the past is to drop MIP. I am free only if I shake lose and not let MIP stick to me, but I must recognize it's hold first. Internally, there is that power. It will refuse to let go, at first. It devilishly wants to survive by attaching itself quickly through the memory, imagination and preference of all past follies. It has a library full of film and pictures. It is faster than the Internet. It is my birth rite to return to my true and natural self, the non-mechanical me. Personal blunders are just a small, but important, part of the road to self-liberty. I am chained only by the things I refuse see. I must let the library play it's inventory of false accusation and not attach myself to any of it's redundant medium. If I will see that past follies are mere MIPs, I am apt to find a greater intelligence, a soft and forgiving higher self (the kingdom of heaven). Running around outwardly for a cure is wasting precious energy. It is like taking diphenhydromine for an allergy attack. It may alleviate the symptoms, but it does not dissolve future reactions. I do not seek band aids. I seek permanency through investigation not the contempt of the mechanical self. The mechanical mind is logical. The logical mind can send a man to the moon, but it has no power to end chaos and suffering. The MIP has a logical significance, but I cannot assume that I can, logically, think my way out of internal conflict. A logical mind can never rise above itself. I must learn to keep it in it's place and look for something higher. It definitely exists. I must use everything I think, say and do for greater enlightenment. I should experiment with myself in these areas without self-judgement nor self-condemnation. These a opposites and prevent the uprising. Blessings, r

* page 20 from Vernon Howard's, 'Esoteric Mind Power'

Absence

"If a man could sit for an hour and think of nothing, when he opened his eyes he could see everything".

Charlie from Jack London's, Call of the Wild.

The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

There are times I occasionally encounter what I used to coin as a bad day. A day when, upon awaking in the morning, I don't feel so well physically or mentally. It is amazing how this "appearance" of state can spiral downwards as the day progresses. This state can often linger for a couple of days and my temporal outlook on life may even be dismal or dismayed. It is important, in these times, that I allow this state to hang around. What would I gain from it if I tried to push it away? Try to see the amount of natural energy that is used in avoidance, escapism or worry. As an addict, I never had bad days or good days, only ugly days. They were ugly because I did the same thing for 9 years: wake up and get high, eat and get high, get high to change the oil in my car or go to one of my kids athletic events (only to get high). Getting high in those days is no different than escaping a "bad day" today, mentally. I am still trying to avoid pain. If I allow myself to remain uncomfortable for a little while and try to see that what I am allowing to take place isn't the me I want to be, I lessen its hold on me. Whenever these states appear in your life, don't do anything to escape it. Don't try to change it. Just let it lay around for as long as it wants. Heighten your awareness of it's existence and experiment to see what happens knowing it has nothing to do with the real you. When we, through awareness, see this division we are given a wonderful opportunity to see something new.

"You hear the wind, but you cannot see it. You do not know where it comes from or where it is going. So it is with those born of the spirit". John 3

Omniscient

An individual whose mind and body are working together while passively seeing all that is around and all that is within.

NASCAR racing

Your ego doesn't want your day to be lived. It wants to drive you through it. Imagine how a day could be lived, if there was no desire for the need to live it. If self-interest would take a back seat and your day unfolded naturally with no need to implement frivolous planning or engineering in order to substantiate itself. Your ego has no capability of a greater intelligence, in fact, it is quite the opposite. It's characteristics are mechanical, often mundane, mis-directed (ADD?) and add nothing to your inner essence. It's purposes are useful in things that are logically oriented, but we are not speaking of logic, are we? Think about that for a minute and wake up to a world of wonder. Watch for the speed in which you plan to perform a particular pre-conceived task and you will catch my drift. How truly boring we must be. Blessings, r

A note from underground: thought and writing will always surpass age.

Running The Hills (A Hurdler's Song)

Swift afoot,
listening for rhythm

Finding the beat,
soothes my breathing

My thoughts are quiet
here in this moment

The race's finish
is far tomorrow

Waves of solitaire
in stride with traffic

Deaf to the crowd's
relentless cheer

My quest is nearing,
I do not fear

Running the hills,
in me forever.

(1975)

Passing Clouds

It would be a mistake to assume that emotionalism has anything to do with real compassion. This often leads us to false outward attitudes and actions with which, later, we may no longer wish to continue or be responsible for. Watch a particular cloud you find interesting. See how it changes and what it turns into. One such real compassion of mine is seeing the need to lose interest in self and refusing to attach myself to it's defense. Blessings, r

Bad To The Bone

"Please be delightfully impressed by the second sentence of
this talk. There is no natural need for anyone to be a bad
human being. There is no need to be bad. Then why are human
beings violent and rude and bad by being weak and running away
from problems instead of facing them? Now start all over. I
don't want you to miss it. There is no need for you to ever
be angry, hateful, feel lonely, feel left out.There is no
need for you to be bad in any way at all. Now you take the
word bad and put underneath it a long, long list of types of
_badnesses_. Find them for yourself. Find the ones in you.
And I tell you that there is no reason whatever why you
should be that anymore. Oh, I know what you're thinking,
wrongly. You are thinking what you have been living, which
is that there is a need for it. There isn't."

Contact The Source Of Permanent Power
from The Esoteric Path To A New Life tape album

It would be important here for you to be undivided in your attention to this VH exerpt. Read this when you are fully awake, (after the coffee has taken effect, lol). Take the time to read it again and again until you understand what it is asking you to do. Mind performance in these matters is lazy work. Take a pen and paper and write down your "badnesses." This is NOT an apology list to others or yourself. It is honest, self-exploration. Be thorough from the start. You have an inkling as to what they are, but they don't count unless you SEE them, paperwork is important. Spend some time with your pauper efforts. Quietly, you don't have to be like this anymore. Watch for your justifiable behaviors. They are not justifiable, they are the most damaging.

Here are some hints of mine (Do you really think I could be so vain?)

self-righteous (short with people)
envy (feeling left out)
alone (substituted by stated "Independence")
spiteful (no one is deserving of "Me")
acceptance (because I won't)

Blessings, r

The Visitor

From time to time there come many illicit visitors. One of them appears quite often and is recognizable. One evening I happened to be watching when he appeared. He nervously paced around and then questioned me as to whether I feared death and if there was eternal life. He asked if all this was a hoax and that I should be alarmed. He insisted that I pick up my bible and read, like I always do, to push the fear away. He pleaded with me that there must be something I could do to earn my place in heaven. There must be some measure I could take to not worry about it anymore. I paused for a moment and looked around the room to see what was there. I was in the room. The air conditioner was on, the fan was blowing, but the dogs weren't barking. I could not see or hear the visitor in the room. I realized that the visitor was in my head and that it had disguised itself as MY thought. It appeared quite personal, so much I thought it was me. As I saw myself in the room, I realized that I was existing to myself within the room. I was not any thought. I was present to myself by myself. Once I personalized the visitor, which spiritual students often do, it appeared real. The visitor knew my fears, but I didn't. As I brought myself back to the room, the ac, the fan and my dogs, I brought the visitor to the surface, in which, he vanished as quickly as he had come. When he left, he took the fear, the hoax, the doubt, the reaction and the disturbance with him. Observation is the watch dog and when met with the ability to passively detach the disturbance, the winds of awareness to carry it away. We are now in our rightful place. It is truly amazing. I know you are having these thoughts too. They are not real. This is the most cunning trap of all. Don't suppress them or shew them away. Don't DO anything. Allow them to come to the surface. They are not real and they can't hurt you unless you hide from them. Stop hiding. Call their bluff. Take this and use it. Find out more about self observation and awareness. Believe me when I say these thoughts will come again and again. They may even disguise them selves differently, but they can no longer hold you like they did before. Blessings, r

In The Classroom

Have you not learned your lesson yet? People do not need to know what you are doing. They only care about what you think if they can use it to put you down or argue with you to win. You don't need to "win them over." It is not your responsibility to wake up the world. The world does not wish to be woke up. They are asleep and in your frantic efforts to explain yourself, you are napping too. This conflict in your mind is their fuel to win you over to their side (and they are winning, aren't they?) Stop doing it. Do you not see this discourse? Do you not see this propaganda? Keep spiritual discoveries away from them. Do not try to possess the Truth, leave it alone. Truth needs no defense, but a secret tool of the false self is to tell you it does. It wishes to claim everything it sees for itself. A tool of the evil one is to make you think you have invented something you can now possess and because it is now "yours", no one else can have it or see it. This keeps you fighting, confused, isolated, restless, separate from God and your true nature. Deep down inside you want the argument because you are trying to convince yourself that you are right and everybody else is wrong. There is nobody else around, you fool! It is only the energy draining babbling going on inside your mind. If "it" needs convincing, "it" is not convince able. Keep yourself alert in these times. Your obsession to be right is wrong. We can never remind ourselves enough that "they" are not only other people, but our own false ideas. There is no greater reward than the honest, yet often painful, discoveries you find about yourself. Blessings, r

The Lamp To The Soul

"The eye is the lamp to the soul" These are Christ's words and there is much truth in them. Many are not quite sure whose eyes he was speaking of and what these words exactly meant, but they are spiritually all eyes. Your eyes and the eyes of everyone you come in contact with. Your eyes cannot be seen by you because they are a part of the witness self (camera), but we can see ourselves through and in the eyes of others. If we study the faces of people, we can see their soul and ours. There is a stream of oneness in truth when this channel is experienced. I was speaking with a woman the other day. She openly, and quickly, admitted to me that she was in stage 3 of ovarian cancer. A sign for me to study the eyes. As she went on about her disease and the plans for the last stages of her life, I begin to look intensely at her eyes, all the while listening to what she was saying. I reminded myself to keep myself out of it. I often try to play God in these instances which separates me from truth. Nonetheless, I did the best I could to listen to everything she said to me all the while studying her eyes and facial expressions. She spoke of how she was trying to get everything in order for her family and to excuse the clutter. When the opportunity presented itself, I shared a story about Christ and the two woman. One women was scurrying about preparing dinner while the other was sitting quietly listening to Christ speak. The one preparing dinner soon scoffed and Jesus asked what her problem was. She spatted back that she was doing all the work, while the other (who was listening to him) was sitting doing nothing. Christ simply said, "but she is doing what is important. As I finished, I looked for a response from her and there was none. I smiled to myself and remained quiet. I sensed through the eyes of my soul and the eyes of hers, that this poor woman had probably died a long time ago. A mechanical mind is not a mind with the heart. Watch how quickly it reverts back to what it knows. Many of you, as readers, are now allowing what you have experienced to dictate how you are to react to what you have just read. The practised familiar is not new. It is death and blocks us from the soul where truth and newness lie. What is new is what is unfamiliar. You can see this in your new interaction with others. Pay attention, watch and look in all that you do. What is unfamiliar is a great place to be.

Blessings, r

Hypnoticsm

An attentive lock on memory in a tranced state. It may or may not be the result of the fear of the unknown, but whether it is or isn't, it keeps us asleep and conditioned to the unyielding familiar. The focus of our eyes is a good measure of the depth of unawakedness. Watch the focus of other people's eyes. If you look closely, they are a million miles away. This is not the place to be for the spiritual student. Snap the spell of trance by looking up and seeing where you are and what you are doing. Deeper lapses of trance may be your attempts to control others or by judging and categorizing them according to what truth you think you know. There are many forms of trance and these characteristics are, and will always be, in an attack mode. Be especially attentive to those that disguise themselves as the real you. Blessings, r

From the Breathe

Dear Randall,

Do not let your heart be troubled. Don't worry about anything in your life. Trust in God and trust in me. I have gone to prepare a place for you. The place I go has many rooms. When the times comes, I will come for you. You can do this. It will be difficult. There are many who do not want what you want. Love them too, and nurture the want in your heart. It won't hurt you to hurt for a little while. Enjoy this day I have given you. Remember, I chose you so that you do not have to struggle so much to choose me. Love, Christ

Intensely Casually

"God himself has made it possible for you to live without the
dark place and the pains that rush out and flood out and take
you over. Your choice of wanting to see and work is essential
to you if you want to get rid of your feeling of emptiness, of
futility. You've lied to yourself and said, 'I know what to do
to get rid of the pain.' You've never gotten rid of the pain
and that's evidence of self-deceit. You have to stop playing
cruel tricks on yourself. So stop. Now."

I keenly sense that in this excerpt, VH is explaining to me, the position and the attitude (mood) I should adopt in my daily endeavors. It is possible to find freedom when I start as close to the mouth of the river as possible. Not so much the river of life, but that apex of where light and darkness as I perceive it, begins. It is obvious, to me, that nothing can fruitfully happen if I do not stay in a constant state of awareness to and of that origin. As long as I continue to go to sleep, consciously, I will always drift back to those familiar and status quo "pain stages", (otherwise known as darkness, desire, passion, pseudo-happiness, nothing new, etc...) because they are stealthily deceiving. So where does this energy to stay awake come from. Well, I can tell you it doesn't come from the me I think I know. It comes from an original nature that I have allowed the world to mask. That world being my conditioned thoughts, attitudes and beliefs. This is overwhelmingly due the fact that I am ignorant and a surprisingly hard rock head. Finding a teacher like Christ, according to VH, involves "wanting to see and wanting to work." So now, I come to the origin of all gainfulness, that of WILLINGNESS. Willingness or willing to be willing is the rock I must perch atop to see the mouth of the river from which all things originate and regenerate. A free mind that sees everything and reacts to nothing so as to re-learn it's original God conscious nature. This is a narrow gate to pass through, because one of the many sleeping pills I take are self-guilt, self-judgement, self-condemnation and more importantly self-doubt, (furthering greater crimes against myself). So it will trickle down to small daily actions, small daily visions, little tiny baby steps and the ever present task of slowing down the speed rail machine in my head that thinks it knows. Moment by moment my friend, moment by moment. Blessings, r

Captain and me

I am not sure if my ship is going to come in or not. I question whether or not there is such a thing. Maybe, along time ago a person begin to believe that and everybody heard about it. What would be the most practical thing to do? Hmmm... Maybe it is possible to find and live a life that wouldn't be concerned whether the ship came or not. Like the movie 'War Games' "The only way to win is not to play." Blessings, r

National Security

Never put your faith, your beliefs or your trust in anything that can be taken from you. There is much evil in the world and they look to destroy you. Be on the alert for people, places, things and the deadliest and evilest of them all, YOU! Blessings, r

The 3rd I

I see that you did not get what you thought you had coming to you. I believe that what you expected may even have been hinted to you, earlier. And now, because of your loss, you are having thoughts of spite and getting even. You are angered by the lack of your promised success. You are hurt and now you are structuring a pre-emptied strike against the undelivered gift host. Your are now uneasy, restless and scurrying about with your imagined purposeful intent. It is not purposeful, it is programmed. It is an attack against the host, but you do not see it, because the host is you and for a brief moment, I thought I was you. Blessings, r

Congestion

There will be times, along the way, where I seem to be drifting. Wandering around searching for that inspiration that I so, consciously, worked for in the past. The most important thing for me is that I can handle as much truth that is available, until I run away. I can run as far and as fast as I can, but Truth never wavers. It graciously and lovingly awaits my return. I always seem to return in my own cognisance. I rebel against everything that is not the apparent truth to me. I twist and contort truth mind pictures until I see that it is not going to fit, then finally when nothing else works, I let go. It is in these times of congestion that the dawn of truth beckons me. I must first and foremost, slow down. A lot can be found in slowing the mind down. Congestion is marked by the speed in which my mind travels. My conscious efforts to bring it to an abrupt halt are necessary and make way for the upward new. It all goes back to, and centers around, Now. The precious present moment. It is okay to stop and step back. It is okay to start over if I have found myself lost or confused. It is okay to start over, right now. Who needs to know? My only life need only be unique to me. blessings, r

IFC Challenge: Need verses Want

What I want carries carries no value. What I need has no depreciation. The apostle Paul once wrote, "I can do all things through Christ, which strengthens me." Let me see something here, first. Before I go creating a picture in my mind of what Christ is or should be, which would be both logical and mechanical in orientation, let me first see what Christ isn't.
Christ is NOT: Fear, Worry, Pride, Vanity, Wants, Desires, Selfishness, Defense, Greed, Procrastination, etc... So before calling on the angels, I should first look to see what is really causing my disruption, (which, in fact, is the same thing). Ah, Alas! I see that sneaky little demon. What I wanted was NOT Christ, but what I needed was and is God or Christ (same thing) who provides me with everything that IS necessary. I must do the work. I must let the Absolute, who rules my heart, do what he does and see that my wants only get in the way and prevent the awareness of that beautiful fact. Incidentally, if you are not convinced of this, take your most valuable possession down to the local pawn shop. You can then see how the angels play. Blessings, r

"Learn to love the things that make you the most uncomfortable. If you decide to end your burdensome ways, it is about time." Vernon Howard

I am the Universe

I used to think that being alone was supposed to be uncomfortable. Then my selfishness protected my drug addiction by not wanting to share me with the world. I then got into recovery and they shouted that isolation was a trigger for relapse, hmmm... Then I read the words of Christ who told me the kingdom of heaven was within. If that is so, and it be my aim, then how else would I find this kingdom if not alone by myself guided by an unstructured inquiry? A finding that must originate in the quietest void of my heart that connects to the omniscient spirit and guiding energy of the universe. How could it be different, if not the same? Yeng and Yang, right and wrong, black and white, be done with that sorting. Truth can only be truth, not invented, but discovered. It can be described but not defined. If used rightly and correctly, a man alone, focusing on the wordless voice of his heart (not his babbling,wordful, instruction seeking mind), would be as powerful and could do more than the greatest army on earth. Go to superwisdom.com, today, to get more insight to the Tao de Ching. Follow the instructions of this wonderful podcast. blessings, r

Hmmmm...

"POWERFUL PLAN

Use this simple but powerful weapon for defeating the devil.
What Satan loves, you must unlove. The devil loves brooding
depression and senseless schemes. Unlove these. Satan sends
out hideous thoughts about hurting and conquering people.
Unlove such ideas when they try to enter your mind. Simply
love the opposite of what the devil loves. You will feel
the opposite of anguish, which is peace and intelligence."

SOLVED The Mystery of Life, p. 197

Enjoy the applied. Blessings, r

Change

Change can never take anything good and right from me. It can only add, if I will let it.

"When a resolution turns us in a new direction, so much genuine good flows from daring to feel uncomfortable, or wrong, or whatever you want to call it, perhaps even for days or weeks. Knowing in advance this is going to happen, and even intensify as you continue to make your stand, is the great secret of change." Tom Russell

Blessings, r

Nursery Rhyme

God, please take care of me today because I can't.
Honestly, I don't know how.
My very best thinking got me into a treatment center,
for drugs, anxiety, depression, isolation and loneliness.
They follow me wherever I go.
Show me today how to forget about myself and
what, how and where you want me to be.
Carry me through myself.
You know that I believe in you, but
my beliefs are limited and are only mechanical, at best.
Could you show me how to know myself,
without worrying about how to do it?
Encourage me to let go,
and to not get so emotional when I do so.
If I should happen to get a brief glimpse of your love for me today,
that would be greater than anything I could do on my own.

"Now I lay me down to SLEEP,
I pray the Lord my soul to keep
If I should die before I AWAKE,
I pray the Lord my soul to take."

Blessings, r

The Toothbrush Test

Everyday I brush my teeth in the shower, in the morning. I use a sonic care toothbrush. It is electronic and operates in four (4) 30 seconds cycles. Each cycle ends with a slight pause, before the next cycle begins. If you have such a toothbrush try this test. Begin the 1st cycle on the lower back teeth. When the 2nd cycle starts, move to your front lower teeth The 3rd cycle will be the back top and the 4th will be the front top. As you begin, focus on what you are doing through all the cycles until all your teeth are brushed. I doubt you will be able to do it the first time. Why you say? You will forget what cycle and what area of your teeth you should be at, because you will allow your mind to wander off. You will begin worrying about your day, you will delve into the NEXT moment or you could be thinking about what self help topic you may need to read or have just read. It can be a thousand different things and because of it you have gone to sleep. Oh, you're awake physically, but you are mentally asleep. Try the toothbrush test. It only takes 2 minutes. When you finally come to that time when you have devoted your focus to all cycles and all teeth, you may now begin your day. Now approach the next few moments doing the same thing. Be aware of what your doing. Just stop and pay attention. Be aware of your presence and it's relationship to everything. Be on the alert for those passing cloud thoughts that want to interfere, just let them pass. Conduct your day the same as your toothbrush test. They are the same thing and there is nothing more practical than being aware of what you are doing. I will leave you with some help from a very important man in my life. He is not with us anymore, but his works are abound.

"Straighten yourself up, look around you.
See what's there
See that person, see those people
Walk alertly and awakedly.
Don't dose
Don't dream
Don't wander around
Don't rush!

Read this once a day. It will help you rise above your fears. It will remind you of something higher you should be doing. As a spiritual student, it is time to stop taking orders from lower places."

Vernon Howard

Blessings, r

The Laws of Attraction

Here is a website I would encourage you to visit:

http://www.superwisdom.com/

but first, a poem.

I pray that I continue to challenge
any and all, large or small,
daily and internally,
things that make me fall.
To toast those stumblings.
To salute those bumblings,
and embrace the crashing of the wall.
Crash, crash, crash goes
a wandering mind,
so far from itself,
so far from it's truth.
In the rubble,
there it lies,
the wondering heart,
and lo the Absolute.

Blessings, r,

Stop Sign

Do you remember what you were doing or worrying about a week ago today? Probably not, so why are you worrying today? Whatever you miss may become your demise, so stay awake and alert to what you are doing now!
Blessings, r

In Passing

I was going through the music of MJ after his passing, all the way back to the Jackson 5. His music played an instrumental part in my becoming a melodic groover (fancy name for a drummer). As I went through each song, I once again relived every episode that I was chronologically engaged in. Most of it was about girls and that lonely, scared little boy inside of me. I took from it what I needed and jumped back to where I currently was and what I was currently doing. It is too bad that the rest of the mourners aren't doing that. What I just described to you is how a person can wake up. You can snap a spell of illusion by consciously watching: where you are mentally, where it is trying to take you and just how real that state is. Blessings, r

From the Shower, to the Light

Is today just another day, or can I choose to just be awake to what is?

OPP (revised) indication

Something special for you in regards to today's reading:

"The whole world is utterly impractical. Millions and millions of
human beings chasing around thinking that they're being practical
when all their minds are on all day long is making money, winning
ego-victories, protecting themselves from a world they fear. Not
seeing, by the way, that they're really fearing the world inside
of them. And when you get rid of the fear of yourself you don't
fear the world out there because they're both the same thing."

Vernon Howard

OPP

Okay, I must get something straight. I am not God, so do not whine and complain to me. Believe it or not, I have my own problems and they have little to do with you. If I intentionally stick out my foot and trip you, then I apologize. You may not, however, continue to point the finger at me every time you trip and fall. This is what the rest of the world is doing and look at them. They are still pointing, blaming and tripping and have been doing so since the dawn of man. It is nothing new. Oh, you of little faith! Can I not raise myself above my own humanity? Do I not see that my so called "contentedness" is really fear, illusion and ignorant procrastination? Can I not see it? The world says, "Oh it is only being human." If being lazy, accusatory and fearful is human, I want no part of it. I will not settle for the "Slothful It." I cannot afford the blame and complain game and neither can you. So stop. Do yourself, the world and me a favor and just stop.

Where's Waldo

There are many times that I have been led astray. There have been many times that, while asleep, I have just drifted around, wandering, bumbling and stumbling. From the time I can earliest recall to the age of 44, I did just that. Everything I did started as a curiosity or a challenge and ultimately led to an obsession. I took on all comers thinking they would identify me or substantiate what I thought I was or should be. Nothing worked and in 2001 I entered a treatment center for drug addiction. To get to the point (because I can get long winded), those distractions still exist for me today. Quite often, they are more powerful than before. Today, I am different. I am different today, because I have learned to take instructions from within. My mind is the negotiator for all external and internal stimulation. I choose today because I believe in something greater than me. That something is identified by and called many things. The questions I ask myself before I jump: Is this going to truly make me happy? Does it go against the things I have already learned my lessons from? Is it something that I haven't really looked at yet? Finally, do I really want or agree with this? I am learning to turn everything inward, for that is where the kingdom and my true birth rite lies

Solitude

Am I using solitude to break new ground or am I allowing insanity to further itself?

conscience

I was sitting outside, in the middle of my troubles, observing my favorite tree. It is an elm with a 10" trunk and rises about 35 feet in the air. It is amidst other elms, but is rather skinny in stature compared with the others. The wind was blowing rather hard and it was swaying heavily. Back and forth it swayed but never breaking. I realized that my squeamish little elm was not concerned with breaking because, in reality, it has no conscience. A conscience that is worried about breaking in the wind, is a conscience that is being improperly used. The difference in me and the elm is God's gift of compassion, the ability to perceive that love and the heights that I can reach from that oneness. Jesus talked about the worrying I will encounter. He stated very simply to not do it, yet I still do (and quit often). So it is that my little elm needs water, sunlight and wind to survive. Why is it that I think I need more and can I not see how "more" is detrimental to God consciousness?

wealth

I have never bought anything that carried it's value. Even money for money is no investment. In the world that I live in, there is no outward value and I am finding myself more and more, becoming dis-interested in stockpiling junk. I cannot sell everything I have and come out even. If I were to get into a bind, do I think I would be paid the same for an item I bought then sold? Sooner or later it is going to catch up to me. There is something of value to, "living within your means." This is the "real means", which is what I have equal to what I need. I hear the voices of spiritual redundancy, but this is really about being practical with my money and see what happens by not falling prey to the insanity. Blessings, r

P.S. It is not that I don't want God in my heart, but rather, for me to leave to make room for him.

Take it easy

Just because it is cloudy outside, doesn't mean the sun isn't shining. I can enjoy my day by remembering it. If I remember what I did the last hour, I haven't wasted it. If I cannot personally experience it, then it does not exist for me. I must remember that through out my day I must approach my thoughts quietly. I must make myself slow down so as to give myself a chance at sorting some of these undesirable elements. Blessings, r

Hand Sitting

"For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son, that whosoever believes in him will not perish, but have everlasting life". - Jesus in John 3

I must step outside the box, for a moment, on this one. I must challenge my conditioned thinking as to the real meaning of this liberating passage and ask myself whose belief? Is it my belief or one I assume from the person speaking behind the wooden box. Do I believe in my nightmares, in my negativities or in my humanism? Am I not weighing my thoughts and actions against some standardized moralization in which I entrust will make me a "good" person or earn this life? Can't I just take the face value and push it off to limited conceptualization? Am I not digging myself a shallow grave to be pelted by cheap rationalizations, immoral self-sabotage or unjustified condemnations? Am I not being slowly perished with indecision and entrapment. If I am in conflict, if I think I know where goodness lies, am I not merely deceiving myself? I must sit, on my hands if necessary, and observe my own imprisoned badness and not try to appear morally correct, for I am not. This is the great hoax and handing my money over, or relinquishing any possession, will not pay for what work I must do myself. Blessings, r

Space

I am in and of space.
There is no universal void, of which,
I am not a part of.
A universe of vast
and serene consciousness,
totally involved with all
motion and all impulse.
I am not guided by any force
and exist as a floating array
of simple being, beauty and love.
Existing as peasant and politician,
worker and saint.
All doors are open,
both below and beyond,
to a life of reason and unknown.
Of labels and pleasures and pain
and loss. To gain true freedom
from need or desire is the same as
needing nothing at all.

Blessings, r

Civil Disobedience

"I am not responsible for the successful working of the machinery of society. I am not the son of the engineer. I perceive that, when an acorn and a chestnut fall side by side, the one does not remain inert to make way for the other, but both obey their own laws, and spring and grow and flourish the best they can, till one, perchance, overshadows and destroys the other. If a plant cannot live according to it's nature, it dies; and so a man."

- Henry David Thoreau -

NSYNC

The object of my desires. I think that phrase came from a song a while back and I wish I could have left that phrase in that song. I have the tools and opportunities to manage my own life, but because I am a rockhead, I fail to use the tools to keep me in check. There are basic desires that I have and all of them seemed to be attached to an object. I place desires and pleasures (benefit, pleasing etc...) with these objects. It doesn't matter whether it be people, places or things. I get into trouble when they don't, won't or can't comply, subsequently, I suffer grief. These people, places and things must comply to how I want the movie to turn out (whether knowingly or unknowingly) or I am pained. I am pained when: I don't get what I want, don't get what I think I have coming to me, that I am going to lose something that I think I have or an event (pleasurable) doesn't come off the way I had hoped or planned it would. (A while back i wrote a piece about hope, you might want to re-read it). So my point is this, in and of themselves, desires are human traits and there is nothing wrong with enjoying them. However, pleasure should come naturally and spontaneously, never schemed or orchestrated. That was it's original intention. You hear a lot of ideas and opinions about passion. Jesus suggested that I lose my passions. If it blocks me from the light or keeps me asleep to myself (directing my own movie), it may be a good time to consider some healthy alternatives. Blessings, r

Nicodemus i Am

"You hear the wind, but you do not know where it comes from or where it is going. So it is with those born of the spirit." Can I truly live my entire life based on those simple words? How can such a simple statement send me beyond my humanism? In those words are a description and prescription for life: To be born of the spirit. I would encourage you to read and re-read, again and again John chapter 3. For me, it is the greatest piece of literature ever written. Do something favorable for yourself. Spend a week reading it every morning and spend your days trying your best to understand it's meaning. He will come as he promised, for he is the Truth. Watch for the lower world to attack you (in your head) as you contemplate the meaning. The closer we get to the light, the greater the darkness tries to invade. You can win! Blessings, r

Harmony

Whatever the conflict,
Whatever the cause,
Spend some time,
Going over your thoughts.

The part you play,
Not the one apparent,
Is the only reason,
For this incoherence.

Admit your wrongs,
Despite your pride,
And you will be free,
To continue the ride.

“I am sorry” is
Hard to say
And “I Love you”
Is the only way.

We are not different,
So try to mend.
Go beyond yourself,
To the very end.

Harmony has no gain
Harmony fells no pain
Harmony is not given,
Harmony is righteous livin’.

Blessings, r

Mathematical Genus

Take a few minutes with a stop watch and measure now. Start and stop your watch as fast as your reflexes will let you. Record it on a piece of paper. Take a calculator and begin to divide your figure by 2 (half or 50%). Due to time constraints you will be dividing by 2 forever. 1/2 of anything = 1/2 x ____. Now take that figure you wrote down and multiply by 2. Due to time constraints you will be there forever. You cannot measure now because it can only exist as eternal (both inward and outward). They are the same. Even our man-made numbers cannot describe eternity, whether it be the smallest or largest part known. Live your life as if you have all the time in the world, because you do. Jesus said "I am the alpha and the omega." We can experience the presence of Jesus now by making ourselves AWARE of the present moment. He spoke of here and now and the hereafter not because they are different, but because they are one of the same. Now is Eternal. Start with asking yourself, "Where am I and what am I doing?" You are so there! Blessings, r

A Quick Note to Self

In this life you are going to blunder a thousand times. Your greatest victories will come NOT from accomplishments, money, notoriety, fame, outward conquests or anything painted on a plaque, but in what darkness you secretly walked away from. Those will be your greatest moments and no one needs to know. You never have to provide a reason into how, what and why you believe.

"Do unto yourself as you would have others do unto you." -Vernon Howard-

No Doubts

It is funny to watch an old body try to keep up with a young mind. I am so amazed at life's cycles. Whether it be physical, financial, emotional or spiritual, I can do anything in the next few moments. All that is needed is a few short bursts to get me through any day, (a day in which I may be devastated during my morning scheduling). The question is who is doing the scheduling and at what pace do the listed items need to be done? I have grown accustom to premeditated pace. I do make lists from time to time, but I need to understand that I can only do one thing at a time. If I prioritize my list, then the important things (especially the ones I really dread doing)can be accomplished in order. What is my life's greatest priority right now? How important is it, really? Often times I have to move myself to the side to get the answer. Keep it simple, make a list, prioritize that list, start at the top and focus on one thing at a time. It is very important for me to scratch off the one's I completed. It gives me a great sense of accomplishment and allows me to remember what I do from moment to moment. If I don't get to everything, I can put those at the top of tomorrow's list. Remember to leave tomorrow on that piece of paper. You won't be needing it until then, (effort - relaxation). Enjoy your day! Blessings, r

Smile at the Devil

Upon awakening,
A rush moves in.
One thousand armies to crush
Light so thin.

Faster than sound,
The ideas bombarding.
It is not you,
But unfurling nothings.

No defense to these
Unclaimed borders,
Just flames and pieces
Of a darker order.

Feeding hapless thoughts,
Of an affair gone by,
You missed a chance
For your piece of the pie.

Baiting your mind,
To think, “It’s me”,
“I must do something
To stop the melee.”

I caught you this morning,
So leave me be.
I have no time for you,
But you do not see.

A sea of actors
Parading the stage,
Just smile at the Devil
And his blank masquerade

Blessings, r

A Prayer for Cory

You bustle by,
In your brand new cars.
Looking over your shoulder,
You’re late to the bar.

Smiling cause your model,
Is newer than hers.
He has no coat,
And sitting the curb.

Spinning hurriedly,
With destined imagination.
There are no clues,
To this next generation.

Blindly caught in this
Circus and charade,
You vaguely see his
Life is not a game.

A wintry day he trots,
No coat and no shoes,
No food for himself,
Just singing the Blues.

Won’t you lend him,
Your car or your money?
Maybe a prayer for him,
A Prayer for Cory.