Hand Sitting

"For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son, that whosoever believes in him will not perish, but have everlasting life". - Jesus in John 3

I must step outside the box, for a moment, on this one. I must challenge my conditioned thinking as to the real meaning of this liberating passage and ask myself whose belief? Is it my belief or one I assume from the person speaking behind the wooden box. Do I believe in my nightmares, in my negativities or in my humanism? Am I not weighing my thoughts and actions against some standardized moralization in which I entrust will make me a "good" person or earn this life? Can't I just take the face value and push it off to limited conceptualization? Am I not digging myself a shallow grave to be pelted by cheap rationalizations, immoral self-sabotage or unjustified condemnations? Am I not being slowly perished with indecision and entrapment. If I am in conflict, if I think I know where goodness lies, am I not merely deceiving myself? I must sit, on my hands if necessary, and observe my own imprisoned badness and not try to appear morally correct, for I am not. This is the great hoax and handing my money over, or relinquishing any possession, will not pay for what work I must do myself. Blessings, r