Where's Waldo

There are many times that I have been led astray. There have been many times that, while asleep, I have just drifted around, wandering, bumbling and stumbling. From the time I can earliest recall to the age of 44, I did just that. Everything I did started as a curiosity or a challenge and ultimately led to an obsession. I took on all comers thinking they would identify me or substantiate what I thought I was or should be. Nothing worked and in 2001 I entered a treatment center for drug addiction. To get to the point (because I can get long winded), those distractions still exist for me today. Quite often, they are more powerful than before. Today, I am different. I am different today, because I have learned to take instructions from within. My mind is the negotiator for all external and internal stimulation. I choose today because I believe in something greater than me. That something is identified by and called many things. The questions I ask myself before I jump: Is this going to truly make me happy? Does it go against the things I have already learned my lessons from? Is it something that I haven't really looked at yet? Finally, do I really want or agree with this? I am learning to turn everything inward, for that is where the kingdom and my true birth rite lies