Present Is The Aim

A person knows if they are living right. They also know if they are not living right, too! This is directly measured by how many questions you ask yourself. The wise ask less, the foolish ask more. It is not my responsibility to see that you are or are not living right, it is yours and mine is mine. Sometimes in living and many times during my lifetime there has always existed the fear of finality. An illusion of finiteness for lack of a better word. Nonetheless, I have tried to see this masked illusion of the false one and finally came to an aura of simplistic explanation. I do this for myself and for anyone who experiences the illusory visions of death, the end of life, including any fatal destinies or any unaccomplished purposes. Unfortunately, many of us have learned that the book of revelation is one that, historically, creates fear and damnation to any and all readers. This is just not true. It is a very loving book and the basis of a new found strength for me today. A book of great promise and reward. It is unfortunate that as children, a handful of idiots stood behind a box and mis-interpreted it's promise and strength believing in only it's eternal (classic definition) implications and damnations. Since I am one that must approach life practically, I have discarded any living value of fire or brimstone (it literally scared my children to death and with their father's hand ran as far and as fast as possible away from that tyrannic satire for ever). Find a bible. I prefer the NIV because I do not speak in thee, thou and thine. Turn to Revelation 22:12. It reads: "Behold, I am coming soon. My reward is with me, and I will give to everyone according to what he has done. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the First and the Last, the Beginning and the End". Let me first say, that this is love and encouragement, at it's best. You and I are not to worry, Christ is the beginning and the end. He is YOUR life's beginning and he is YOUR life's end, so you are not to worry, that is his job and I think he can handle what you can't. Be not afraid, instead focus on his greatest gift and the basis of all his teachings, The Awareness of the Present Moment. The Here and Now in Life is where your relationship exists with God and it can be in no other place. Our only conscious relationship is in the present with him, for that is where the kingdom lies and also, where our work lies. He is the alpha and omega, you are not. You are now free from it's worry. His reward is with him, not you. You can do nothing to earn it, he will give it to you. You no longer have to toil, period (his yoke is light so be good-hearted and cheerful). This can be experienced now, not later. Contentment can be had now, peace is waiting. "I will give according to what he has done". There is no mention of punishment here. Those box standers made you believe in some punishment in accordance to works. That is not what Christ implies. He does not come to judge or condemn, neither should you of yourself, others of you nor you of others. This is the utmost of encouragement that you try to understand and follow his loving commandments. Not perfect adherence, but the best you can. Your success lies 100% in the effort. The results are his and are in him alone. Live free in the moment or be condemned outside of it. It is your choice, he gave that to you. blessings, r

In Regards to Religion...

In most times, I would have been better served sleeping that extra hour. In regards to it's true purpose, I find this more in line to my inspiration....

How can I begin to wake up?

Watch yourself in daily action. Just quietly observe whatever you do, say, think, feel. Neither condemn nor approve what you see, but simply look at it without judgment. Mentally stand back a short distance from yourself and look at your daily actions, just as if you were casually observing a stranger. One result will be the faint feeling that you are not at all the person you have taken yourself to be. This is the start of a fantastic adventure, and the beginning of a totally new life.

What is my goal?

To find yourself.

Blessings, r

This Is A Test

God may not test you, but the world definitely will. As I move along, absent from drugs and now nicotine, I have kept very few sentimental dates or keepsakes. Those I have chosen to keep linger for a while, then lose their value and are discarded. I use dates to coincide with relevant things in my path towards upward understanding. I chose to stop nicotine on March 14Th. I remember very little from March 14Th, but the date, if all goes well, is an established birth towards greater personal change. I often look for representation as to why I chose certain dates or times to mark events like this and very simply, there are subliminal messages to be discovered. I looked for the numbers 3 and 14 in that order and found a scripture from 1 Corinthians 3:14. The apostle Paul is speaking about being tested spiritually. That the world (life) will come with it's fire to test and we will either endure it or we won't. It will depend on our spiritual fitness. May this come to no surprise, this is now, in this lifetime, not later, as others would attempt to impose. The verse reads: "If what he has built survives he will receive his reward." Let me remind you that these rewards are rewards that are stored in heaven, within us and that they are not rewards that interest others. Our rewards will be received, expect goodness when you try to do good things. Material things when a part of the foundation, not the foundation itself, may then be received, and thoroughly, enjoyed. The winds of life, no matter how fierce, when endured, make you stronger. Someday the love of the most uncomfortable things will sit greatest in your heart. blessings, r

Stuff

Day 12 of nicotine absence. No, it is not going to turn into something that it is not, like a prison sentence count down to freedom. I can ill afford to waste energy on what took a 37 years to incur, with needless acts of condemnation or judgement. I would be more inclined to a peaceful and resounding hark! That of awakedness and good fortune for discovering something so hypnotically mundane, that being vices and habits. I am curious though, where was I when all these addictions where taking place? Nothing happens over-nite, so where have I been all these years, where was I yesterday and where am I now? I think I have been asleep to recent heart matter, of breath and of the vibrancy of what is living. I have been asleep in things and unaware to things of importance. It is those things that are of a spiritual nature. More specifically, life and I. Life has been here for 50 thousands years or so, but I am it's guest for only a handful of years. Why do I spend so much mental activity with "stuff?" The getting of things and the thinking of more to get. How much is enough? Look at how asleep I am? A deep, daily trance seems to be the course of the day. The finding and getting of more things in activity and thought to consummate something worthy of it's effort. Feeling good about feeling bad is impossible, or is it?. Isn't that the dilemma? That my efforts should be worthy from something above? That pain is a requirement for blessedness or righteousness? What do I now, already possess? Why can't I just like what I see and be happy being me? r

Default

Chronic nicotine use creates its own artificial
sense of normalcy, an addiction comfort level.
Yes, each fix brought the addict in us a true
sense of relief (from the pains of our own
addiction) and yes, most of those memories
still remain. However, one critical factor has
changed. Our brain no longer has a chemical
need for nicotine.
-Joel Speitzer - Law of Addiction

I am in Day 8 of total freedom from nicotine. It is very difficult and I am just mostly pissed off all the time. I only thought I was this person who was wise and understanding or even loving. These established boundaries, therefore, are not real, but propagated by my own ego in the presence of nicotine (or dopamine). This proves, once again, that a healthy spiritual life excludes, totally, not only the perceptions and views of others about you, but also, not excluding, the views and perceptions of oneself. How many selves are within a man? I feel out-of-body without the sensation of a dopamine rush from nicotine. This is quite an experience. I am learning the true Law of Addiction. That once it is establish, there is no kill and no cure, it can only be arrested. To all of my addictive comrades who are reading with me and struggling the good fight: It is not your fault. This is the fight before us, but what is different today is that we have the Power of Knowledge. blessings, r

Cessation

A young man was seated at the breakfast table, when a wise, older gentlemen appeared for breakfast. "Good Morning," said the older man, "What will you be doing today?" "Well," replied the young man, "I'm not going to think about anything today, I'm just gonna relax and take it all in." "Good," said the old man and quietly departed. It was about 6 o'clock and the young man was seated at the dinner table. The older gent pulled up a chair and asked, "Well, how did that plan go?" The young man, dejected said, "Well, it went good for about 20 minutes, about the time I started thinking about that girl.... then, well, I don't remember too much after that. I wish I knew where I went wrong, it ended horribly. Can you help me?" The old man look into the face of the young man, smiled, then paused before taking a long deep breath. Unhurried, the old man begin to explain, "There is nothing you can do about the thoughts that come into your mind. This should now be evident to you, good. Thoughts are like clouds, they soon pass and are gone. You, however, are not gone with them, unless you allow these thoughts to guide you. Why do you insist that some clouds hang around and others not? Notice what the rest of you is doing while fixated on the characteristics of a certain cloud. You do not exist to yourself because, you are attached to the sensation these clouds produce. You are not the sensation, nor the cloud, this is your big mistake, so do not identify with them! By the way, the longer you allow a cloud to hang around, the more obsessed you will become with it. It is important to see these clouds, but not get attached to them. It is really quite impossible anyway, do you not see how you are trying to turn illusion and fantasy into reality? Hah!! Spend some time not doing so much. Those same thoughts will soon tell you that you should spend every waking moment on them. This is just not so. Remember that they can become persistent. Do not worry, they have no power unless you give it to them. When finding yourself becoming engaged, step back and consciously take a long, deep breath." The old man winked, stood up and quietly departed.

blessings, r

Never Again

These are harsh words for anyone trying to correct something like a behavior, habit or vice. They are the words that constitute resolutions and resolutions are promises based on a possibility that something could happen or exists. Whatever your situation, try to find your breath in the here and now. Do away with proverbial instruction and take a deep breath. All wisdom is found, somewhere between, the inhale and the exhale. We seldom realize that we do breathe. We are so out-of-touch with our bodies, we never find the treasures it stores, and it is in the simple awareness of the a long deep breath. blessings, r

No More Street Corners

There are no more street corners from which I can stand and yell out. I can longer insist that I stand out from others. There are epic battles awaiting me, yet, like most, I want to cradle myself with new causes and resurrected doctrines because they are easy and they keep me from the real work which lies within and about myself. I must look at my own cancers, but I choose not to and the enemy waits, the enemy works and is feverishly plotting like a termite, unseen from me, to sanctify my demise. There are great rewards ahead, but they can only be appreciated through knowledge and suffering. I am sorry it is this way, but this is how most will come about it. Knowledge, is power. Suffering is not the prize and does me little good, unless I use it to the advancement of a higher order. An order that is spark by knowledge and knowledge when gained in the presence of suffering is a lasting phenomena. My aim should not be to earn titles, but to continue to peel the layers of bigotry and ego. They are the satans and prevent access to any real life. Look at yourself. You say you are clean from this or that, yet, you are still using to your advantage what society permits. Oh you Bigots! You still do not see and you understand nothing! blessings, r

Favoring Yourself and the Dream To Overcome

"A little consideration of what takes place around us every day would show us that a higher law than that of our will regulates events; that our painful labors are unnecessary and fruitless; that only in our easy, simple, spontaneous action are we strong... Place yourself in the middle of the stream of power and wisdom which animates all whom it floats, and you are without effort impelled to truth, to right and a perfect contentment." (Ralph Waldo Emerson)

To see that less of is more. That to side my self with truth is greater than giving up or surrender. Oh yes, this may be a starting point, but it is also involved with an effort, a fighting as such. To allow oneself to truly float in the stream of "power and wisdom," one has to withdraw for a moment, take a deep breath and relax, in a heightened awareness and co-existence with the body. A vision, as such, of effortless, non-directed purpose. Just exist as one is, for a moment, so as to allow for something new. The more I discard the Will's attempts to create an action, the greater my contentment and presence of Truth. blessings, r

A Separate Peace

If I am going to ask myself a question, it should be, "What kind of company am I to myself?" I can never treat others differently than I treat myself. It is never this or that. Having a different physical body than you, I assume that I am different from you, but I am not, it is impossible. I must try to see this, for this is where it begins, this is where the origin of the cure lies, within myself. Stay close to yourself. Do not divide the mind by comparison of how things used to be, how they should be or how you wish they would be. This reveals a divided mind. Stay close to you, in the here and now. The awareness of any state, in it's origin, can be stamped out by refusing to comply and drift away with it. blessings, r

In Morning...

You do not speak the truth, the truth speaks to you. One such truth is that the mind, when left alone and consciously isolated, is nothing more than a bunch of useless chatter. Oh, it has a place, but it appears to be limited, if not purely elementary, to rehearsed rudiments of logic and scheming. In fact, if the operation of my heart was left up to my mind, I would have been dead a long time ago. I am watching the sun rise this morning and it is doing just that. If the rising of the sun were up to me and my useless, chatter-filled mind, the day would already be over. My mind is like a man frantically running around a boat. He believes that all the scurrying and the energy he is spending is going to move the boat faster to it's port. When, in fact, he can do nothing and need do nothing to push the boat to it's destination. So, my mind has no real aim and I believe that it is incapable of such a purpose. It thinks it knows what to do. It spends all it's time trying to convince me that it knows, but has yet to establish any foundation of real truth. My mind is purely a mechanism for receiving orders and carrying out orders. It is not capable of any real transcendentalization. There is a higher intelligence. The proof is that the answer came before the question. The mind is not the answer, it can only pose a question. There is an inherent operation, within oneself, that knows exactly what to do. I need only slow down my frenzied mind-thought and listen. I must consciously say to this main-frame wannabe, "NO, you have no authority in what you say and I will no longer sacrifice my life to your trivial inner workings!" This is right effort. This prepares a path for me and allows truth to speak, to reverse the process. Listening to real instruction will require me to slow down and listen with all my senses. It will require that I command my mind to stop all it's speedy nonsense and shake my head, if need be, to a present wakefulness. May a day come when I can live, instantly, and see, constantly, in the present, rather than far away. The sun rises and sets on a higher order, and so too, can I. blessings, r

Microphones

This internal concept, unseen by you, is your greatest enemy. It's intended and only purpose is to get you excited, and to hopefully celebrate, something new to do. You have done this magical dance your whole life and now it is becoming your sole demise. If by chance you detect it, a new world awaits you, for it's detection is the first step. "I" is the understood "Me", "Me" is the understood "You." blessings, r

United I Stand, Divided I Fall

Try to see it is not this or that... blessings, r

Value

Do not be disheartened by the loss of value in the things you have bought. Even when you brought home your first bicycle it was already losing it's value before the first trip on training wheels. If you believe in sentimentality or cherish your beloved possessions see what they are now worth. Most of the things we buy, we do so out of want and not of need. Socrates used to go to the markets and wander around to remind himself of the things he didn't need. A life living from want soon turns to piles and piles of junk that we, not only don't want, but cannot get rid of. This can and will turn to frantic de-possession of our worthless piles, another grave mistake. Take an inventory of the things you have that were bought based on want and compare them to the things you need. I think you will see the point. This is the demise of many people today. They have all this stuff and to validate it's space they create more and more psuedo-purpose, titles and identities to justify it's purpose and place, which in turn, only creates more and more junk buying and updating. It is okay to have things. It is okay to have nice things. My point is to ask ourselves, how much is this (really) going to cost me? Does it fill it's purpose and to what important things am I sacrificing? Christ was very specific in these matters. He definitely wanted us to understand the place of possessions. That these purchases, more than likely, would separate us from the truth, that is, keep us away from the things that are important, a centerfull peace in him. Blessings, r

A Time To...

I never seem to be bothered by things of the heart. My quarreling comes from those things not of the heart. All these disturbances of outward things always trouble me until I get back to the life "not of that." This is not a life of isolation or duty, but rather, a pleasing, unhurried, skipping on the sidewalks of life. I know that I have a tendency to go overboard with things. It is a busy tipping of the scales. I get easily top heavy with worldly going ons. It is far more important for me to see these trivial occurrences, than to dive to my knees asking for forgiveness. Forgiveness from what? From my false nature? Those who live from this nature. Those who have not distinguished this separate self will soon wear callouses on their knees, storm the doors of religious affiliations or volunteer for bible beating ceremonies. They may gain some sense of normalcy, only to return again to the same demise, having understood nothing. This self, that we live in most of our lives, is a self that cannot be changed. That is it's nature. It is cheap, selfish and yields nothing of any value. All resistance to this self, is in fact, the entire disturbance. It matters not whether I unconsciously live in this self or consciously fight it. When living from the false nature, the false nature always wins. If I could see this, half the battle would be over. To watch in quiet observation, doing nothing, is all I can do, for the rest is done by the heart. There are times when this is difficult and there are times when I easily surrender. Either way that is the only true purpose. A time to live, a time to learn and a place to reside, happily within. r