Stop Sign

Do you remember what you were doing or worrying about a week ago today? Probably not, so why are you worrying today? Whatever you miss may become your demise, so stay awake and alert to what you are doing now!
Blessings, r

In Passing

I was going through the music of MJ after his passing, all the way back to the Jackson 5. His music played an instrumental part in my becoming a melodic groover (fancy name for a drummer). As I went through each song, I once again relived every episode that I was chronologically engaged in. Most of it was about girls and that lonely, scared little boy inside of me. I took from it what I needed and jumped back to where I currently was and what I was currently doing. It is too bad that the rest of the mourners aren't doing that. What I just described to you is how a person can wake up. You can snap a spell of illusion by consciously watching: where you are mentally, where it is trying to take you and just how real that state is. Blessings, r

From the Shower, to the Light

Is today just another day, or can I choose to just be awake to what is?

OPP (revised) indication

Something special for you in regards to today's reading:

"The whole world is utterly impractical. Millions and millions of
human beings chasing around thinking that they're being practical
when all their minds are on all day long is making money, winning
ego-victories, protecting themselves from a world they fear. Not
seeing, by the way, that they're really fearing the world inside
of them. And when you get rid of the fear of yourself you don't
fear the world out there because they're both the same thing."

Vernon Howard

OPP

Okay, I must get something straight. I am not God, so do not whine and complain to me. Believe it or not, I have my own problems and they have little to do with you. If I intentionally stick out my foot and trip you, then I apologize. You may not, however, continue to point the finger at me every time you trip and fall. This is what the rest of the world is doing and look at them. They are still pointing, blaming and tripping and have been doing so since the dawn of man. It is nothing new. Oh, you of little faith! Can I not raise myself above my own humanity? Do I not see that my so called "contentedness" is really fear, illusion and ignorant procrastination? Can I not see it? The world says, "Oh it is only being human." If being lazy, accusatory and fearful is human, I want no part of it. I will not settle for the "Slothful It." I cannot afford the blame and complain game and neither can you. So stop. Do yourself, the world and me a favor and just stop.

Where's Waldo

There are many times that I have been led astray. There have been many times that, while asleep, I have just drifted around, wandering, bumbling and stumbling. From the time I can earliest recall to the age of 44, I did just that. Everything I did started as a curiosity or a challenge and ultimately led to an obsession. I took on all comers thinking they would identify me or substantiate what I thought I was or should be. Nothing worked and in 2001 I entered a treatment center for drug addiction. To get to the point (because I can get long winded), those distractions still exist for me today. Quite often, they are more powerful than before. Today, I am different. I am different today, because I have learned to take instructions from within. My mind is the negotiator for all external and internal stimulation. I choose today because I believe in something greater than me. That something is identified by and called many things. The questions I ask myself before I jump: Is this going to truly make me happy? Does it go against the things I have already learned my lessons from? Is it something that I haven't really looked at yet? Finally, do I really want or agree with this? I am learning to turn everything inward, for that is where the kingdom and my true birth rite lies

Solitude

Am I using solitude to break new ground or am I allowing insanity to further itself?

conscience

I was sitting outside, in the middle of my troubles, observing my favorite tree. It is an elm with a 10" trunk and rises about 35 feet in the air. It is amidst other elms, but is rather skinny in stature compared with the others. The wind was blowing rather hard and it was swaying heavily. Back and forth it swayed but never breaking. I realized that my squeamish little elm was not concerned with breaking because, in reality, it has no conscience. A conscience that is worried about breaking in the wind, is a conscience that is being improperly used. The difference in me and the elm is God's gift of compassion, the ability to perceive that love and the heights that I can reach from that oneness. Jesus talked about the worrying I will encounter. He stated very simply to not do it, yet I still do (and quit often). So it is that my little elm needs water, sunlight and wind to survive. Why is it that I think I need more and can I not see how "more" is detrimental to God consciousness?

wealth

I have never bought anything that carried it's value. Even money for money is no investment. In the world that I live in, there is no outward value and I am finding myself more and more, becoming dis-interested in stockpiling junk. I cannot sell everything I have and come out even. If I were to get into a bind, do I think I would be paid the same for an item I bought then sold? Sooner or later it is going to catch up to me. There is something of value to, "living within your means." This is the "real means", which is what I have equal to what I need. I hear the voices of spiritual redundancy, but this is really about being practical with my money and see what happens by not falling prey to the insanity. Blessings, r

P.S. It is not that I don't want God in my heart, but rather, for me to leave to make room for him.

Take it easy

Just because it is cloudy outside, doesn't mean the sun isn't shining. I can enjoy my day by remembering it. If I remember what I did the last hour, I haven't wasted it. If I cannot personally experience it, then it does not exist for me. I must remember that through out my day I must approach my thoughts quietly. I must make myself slow down so as to give myself a chance at sorting some of these undesirable elements. Blessings, r

Hand Sitting

"For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son, that whosoever believes in him will not perish, but have everlasting life". - Jesus in John 3

I must step outside the box, for a moment, on this one. I must challenge my conditioned thinking as to the real meaning of this liberating passage and ask myself whose belief? Is it my belief or one I assume from the person speaking behind the wooden box. Do I believe in my nightmares, in my negativities or in my humanism? Am I not weighing my thoughts and actions against some standardized moralization in which I entrust will make me a "good" person or earn this life? Can't I just take the face value and push it off to limited conceptualization? Am I not digging myself a shallow grave to be pelted by cheap rationalizations, immoral self-sabotage or unjustified condemnations? Am I not being slowly perished with indecision and entrapment. If I am in conflict, if I think I know where goodness lies, am I not merely deceiving myself? I must sit, on my hands if necessary, and observe my own imprisoned badness and not try to appear morally correct, for I am not. This is the great hoax and handing my money over, or relinquishing any possession, will not pay for what work I must do myself. Blessings, r

Space

I am in and of space.
There is no universal void, of which,
I am not a part of.
A universe of vast
and serene consciousness,
totally involved with all
motion and all impulse.
I am not guided by any force
and exist as a floating array
of simple being, beauty and love.
Existing as peasant and politician,
worker and saint.
All doors are open,
both below and beyond,
to a life of reason and unknown.
Of labels and pleasures and pain
and loss. To gain true freedom
from need or desire is the same as
needing nothing at all.

Blessings, r

Civil Disobedience

"I am not responsible for the successful working of the machinery of society. I am not the son of the engineer. I perceive that, when an acorn and a chestnut fall side by side, the one does not remain inert to make way for the other, but both obey their own laws, and spring and grow and flourish the best they can, till one, perchance, overshadows and destroys the other. If a plant cannot live according to it's nature, it dies; and so a man."

- Henry David Thoreau -

NSYNC

The object of my desires. I think that phrase came from a song a while back and I wish I could have left that phrase in that song. I have the tools and opportunities to manage my own life, but because I am a rockhead, I fail to use the tools to keep me in check. There are basic desires that I have and all of them seemed to be attached to an object. I place desires and pleasures (benefit, pleasing etc...) with these objects. It doesn't matter whether it be people, places or things. I get into trouble when they don't, won't or can't comply, subsequently, I suffer grief. These people, places and things must comply to how I want the movie to turn out (whether knowingly or unknowingly) or I am pained. I am pained when: I don't get what I want, don't get what I think I have coming to me, that I am going to lose something that I think I have or an event (pleasurable) doesn't come off the way I had hoped or planned it would. (A while back i wrote a piece about hope, you might want to re-read it). So my point is this, in and of themselves, desires are human traits and there is nothing wrong with enjoying them. However, pleasure should come naturally and spontaneously, never schemed or orchestrated. That was it's original intention. You hear a lot of ideas and opinions about passion. Jesus suggested that I lose my passions. If it blocks me from the light or keeps me asleep to myself (directing my own movie), it may be a good time to consider some healthy alternatives. Blessings, r

Nicodemus i Am

"You hear the wind, but you do not know where it comes from or where it is going. So it is with those born of the spirit." Can I truly live my entire life based on those simple words? How can such a simple statement send me beyond my humanism? In those words are a description and prescription for life: To be born of the spirit. I would encourage you to read and re-read, again and again John chapter 3. For me, it is the greatest piece of literature ever written. Do something favorable for yourself. Spend a week reading it every morning and spend your days trying your best to understand it's meaning. He will come as he promised, for he is the Truth. Watch for the lower world to attack you (in your head) as you contemplate the meaning. The closer we get to the light, the greater the darkness tries to invade. You can win! Blessings, r

Harmony

Whatever the conflict,
Whatever the cause,
Spend some time,
Going over your thoughts.

The part you play,
Not the one apparent,
Is the only reason,
For this incoherence.

Admit your wrongs,
Despite your pride,
And you will be free,
To continue the ride.

“I am sorry” is
Hard to say
And “I Love you”
Is the only way.

We are not different,
So try to mend.
Go beyond yourself,
To the very end.

Harmony has no gain
Harmony fells no pain
Harmony is not given,
Harmony is righteous livin’.

Blessings, r

Mathematical Genus

Take a few minutes with a stop watch and measure now. Start and stop your watch as fast as your reflexes will let you. Record it on a piece of paper. Take a calculator and begin to divide your figure by 2 (half or 50%). Due to time constraints you will be dividing by 2 forever. 1/2 of anything = 1/2 x ____. Now take that figure you wrote down and multiply by 2. Due to time constraints you will be there forever. You cannot measure now because it can only exist as eternal (both inward and outward). They are the same. Even our man-made numbers cannot describe eternity, whether it be the smallest or largest part known. Live your life as if you have all the time in the world, because you do. Jesus said "I am the alpha and the omega." We can experience the presence of Jesus now by making ourselves AWARE of the present moment. He spoke of here and now and the hereafter not because they are different, but because they are one of the same. Now is Eternal. Start with asking yourself, "Where am I and what am I doing?" You are so there! Blessings, r

A Quick Note to Self

In this life you are going to blunder a thousand times. Your greatest victories will come NOT from accomplishments, money, notoriety, fame, outward conquests or anything painted on a plaque, but in what darkness you secretly walked away from. Those will be your greatest moments and no one needs to know. You never have to provide a reason into how, what and why you believe.

"Do unto yourself as you would have others do unto you." -Vernon Howard-

No Doubts

It is funny to watch an old body try to keep up with a young mind. I am so amazed at life's cycles. Whether it be physical, financial, emotional or spiritual, I can do anything in the next few moments. All that is needed is a few short bursts to get me through any day, (a day in which I may be devastated during my morning scheduling). The question is who is doing the scheduling and at what pace do the listed items need to be done? I have grown accustom to premeditated pace. I do make lists from time to time, but I need to understand that I can only do one thing at a time. If I prioritize my list, then the important things (especially the ones I really dread doing)can be accomplished in order. What is my life's greatest priority right now? How important is it, really? Often times I have to move myself to the side to get the answer. Keep it simple, make a list, prioritize that list, start at the top and focus on one thing at a time. It is very important for me to scratch off the one's I completed. It gives me a great sense of accomplishment and allows me to remember what I do from moment to moment. If I don't get to everything, I can put those at the top of tomorrow's list. Remember to leave tomorrow on that piece of paper. You won't be needing it until then, (effort - relaxation). Enjoy your day! Blessings, r

Smile at the Devil

Upon awakening,
A rush moves in.
One thousand armies to crush
Light so thin.

Faster than sound,
The ideas bombarding.
It is not you,
But unfurling nothings.

No defense to these
Unclaimed borders,
Just flames and pieces
Of a darker order.

Feeding hapless thoughts,
Of an affair gone by,
You missed a chance
For your piece of the pie.

Baiting your mind,
To think, “It’s me”,
“I must do something
To stop the melee.”

I caught you this morning,
So leave me be.
I have no time for you,
But you do not see.

A sea of actors
Parading the stage,
Just smile at the Devil
And his blank masquerade

Blessings, r

A Prayer for Cory

You bustle by,
In your brand new cars.
Looking over your shoulder,
You’re late to the bar.

Smiling cause your model,
Is newer than hers.
He has no coat,
And sitting the curb.

Spinning hurriedly,
With destined imagination.
There are no clues,
To this next generation.

Blindly caught in this
Circus and charade,
You vaguely see his
Life is not a game.

A wintry day he trots,
No coat and no shoes,
No food for himself,
Just singing the Blues.

Won’t you lend him,
Your car or your money?
Maybe a prayer for him,
A Prayer for Cory.