Expression of Suppression

The only reason I have resistance towards you and disturbance with you is because I don't know where I am going and I don't know what to do. It is also seemingly true that, when I think I have arrived at a clue, I find myself uncovering more confusion, confusions that I thought shouldn't have been there. I would have thought that, at my age, these things should have been figured out. What I have learned is that age has nothing to do with my present psychic level. I can only be at the level I presently occupy. Now, there is a present frustration towards that level which has led to more resistance and outward disturbance towards you. I know that it is me and not you though you probably will not see nor recognize it. It is not your problem, but because you also occupy a different psychic level, you want to make it yours. I am having enough trouble with it, so do yourself a favor and try not to save me, you can't and have no clue as to how anyway. I have enough trouble living from conditions I have allowed others to set in place, because I thought it was the right thing to do at the time, falsely justified it within myself or it was the easier road. I have allowed this to go on and now I wish to break from it and cannot justify, to you, why. I am trying to allow myself this opportunity. It would be in your best interest to try and understand. blessings, r