Using Physical Illness

"One of the greatest illusions we have is that we are in charge. You get a pain somewhere, you get ill, that seems and does challenge the illusion that "I am in charge of myself all of the time." You are not and something other than your vanity is taking you over. It is a very common practice for those who understand these things and have studied them deeply, that sick people in hospitals get depressed because they have lost "their former control" of their lives. Here I am sitting back, helpless and I am suppose to be the world's greatest conquerer. That is one way, simply see how getting sick gives you a sense if inadequecy, a weakness at being at the mercy of something. What are you at the mercy of when you are sick? What great evil power is taking over your life? Do you understand that we are going to, eventually, have an illness that will put an end to our physical life? Are you going to object to that? Doctors and hospitals are connected with it, yes. We understand that on a certain level, if you are ill, to do everything possible to make yourself well. What is wrong with that? Also, what is wrong with not fighting with something you can't change? Are you going to change the fact that you are going to get deep lines in your face when you get old? Are you going to walk with a cane when your 80, should you live so long? God intended that you should get to be 80 years old or should need a cane. Do you know better than God how to control your life. Do you want to be 20 all your life? Who wants to be 20?"

A Talk by Vernon Howard 11/06/76