Amazing Grace

I don't feel good because the world is right. The world is right because I feel good. Sometimes it is better to turn off the TV, pass on the morning read in the local newspaper or wake up to the alarm rather than the radio. To just move about without the dirt of outside media. Emerson once said that for every step a man takes forward, society takes two backwards. Actually society has never advanced. It is impossible for an unawakened society to do anything but rely on its many, handy sleeping pills. How often do we, ourselves, get caught in the mist of prejudice, judgement and opinionated triviality. Admittedly, I have found myself in this slumbering fog. I allow myself to be hypnotized by what others deem important, when it actually has little to do with me (even Americanized propaganda). The news and its paper are best epitomized by Mr. Thoreau, "if you've read about one cow getting hit by a train, you have read about them all." Nothing "out there" is ever really new. It is just dressed-up redundancy disguised as something you need to know. As for me, I must be watchful of my thought processes and not allow myself to become one of their statistics. It is not difficult. Follow them around, consciously, and see for yourself. Filling time is easy for an unattended mind. The next time that inner voice tries to coerce you into following him, refuse. I, personally, am spending the next 48 hours watching the antics of these "so-called" production managers. Observe how important what they are trying to motivate you to do, really is. Enjoy a quiet day. Try something new or do something familiar, different. blessings, r

X Files

Vernon Howard's
SECRETS OF LIFE (R)

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"Q: What is behind this constant fear I have that another crisis
is coming my way?

A: This is called self-prophesy and is one of the most foolishly,
valuable possessions that any human being ever has. Now, not just
this lady, but the rest of you have the same dreads, don't you?
Don't you have the fear, the apprehension that something bad is
going to happen to you tomorrow or the next day or a year from
now?

You know there is so much to learn, and let's take just one of
them for now in reply to the lady's question. As long as you
are living in a time-condition nature you will always fear the
future because the future is a part of your time nature. You can
rise above it and live fully and freely right now, this very
moment, in which there is no future for you at all because you
have it all right now.

You had better investigate why you don't find this present
moment of living for yourself in this higher nature. Find out
why you don't discover that. Find out why you prefer, incredibly
to go day after day and month after month worrying over tomorrow,
and I mean this right down in practical things like worrying over
money. Nothing is excluded."

DVD # 4, Talk 4 Questions and Answers

Jack Of All Trades

Dear Friends,

Do not be alarmed by what you read. Most of my encryptions are merely summations of daily influences that pass through my mind. It is my writing that allows me to see simple truths about what I live, make decisions about, whine and wail over or let go of. There are always lessons to learn and new obstacles to overcome. The bottom line is I am trying to find out how this mechanical machine, I call my mind, really works. In order for me to do this I must stand alone for brief periods of time, or longer, until I reach that level of understanding and I must do this no matter what the costs. I must face all of life with all of me, otherwise, nothing will ever be truly learned. All of my negative influences, and yours, reside within us. We must choose what is best for us using total life exposure, including nuances others throw on us as to what we need to do (or should do) about whatever. Personally, no one ever hurt me as bad as I have hurt myself. The blame game stopped some time ago, but it took many years of turmoil and heartache for me to get to a point where I began to see this. The crescendo of guilt and condemnation, then, really began to rare its ugly head. That is what I work on the most, nowadays. The dragons in the darkness of my mind work on me feverishly. Cunning they are, constantly using mental pictures to gain my interest. That is really all they want, my attention. They carry nothing of any real value. They are simply dirty little thieves disguising themselves as who I (falsely) think I am. Shame on me for falling for the bright and shiny hoaxes. Let me explain what little I know about the light. It is not anything like the cheap imitations paraded in front of me by the dungeon ones. No! It is nothing like that. Unfortunately (and the fact that I am completely stubborn), the light cannot be on this level. The light will come with hard work, dedication, persistence and endurance. I am speaking of inner work not digging a ditch or making a million dollars. That is the part I choose to play. The benefits are nothing like dark benefits. The dark side is characterized by uneasiness, conflict, doubt, despair, sleeplessness, obsession, thinking about oneself, etc...

One such dark spot, that intervened when I was a small boy, was my grandmother commented to me that I "was a jack of all trades, master of none". Today, I realize that this was the ultimate compliment, but as a small child I misconstrued this to be a derogatory remark. It would not be necessary to go into any great length as to my mental make-up at the time (most of which is still coming to me), but it would be obvious that I had already begun to suffer from a low sense of self-esteem. The fields were ripe and my misunderstood conception on that one comment, sent me into a downward spiral that has taken years to come to the surface. I am not a child anymore, nor am I eligible to blame anyone for those awkward, circumstantial events. It is my responsibility to go on a search for the truth in my own mind. I will not excuse myself, nor discount any feelings, that I have today regarding my responsibility to detect those itinerant dragon heads. I am one to become aware of how these learned, adopted attitudes influence every emotional storm that may come about in my life. Folks, this is not weakness. This is real, unheralded courage. This is the constitution of real genius. Know that this kind of wisdom, which supersedes all intelligence, is the fruit of true knowledge. I hope you have learned something about what you are to do about yourself. I know I have. Blessings, r

Tiskit-A-Taskit

It would seemingly be impossible for self-will and surrender to occupy the same space. Logically speaking, self will has many useful benefits in everyday day life, but is of no use to the laws of one's spirit. An individual over-run with the will of self must, eventually, give way to the law of the spirit if he truly wants real change. This is an opportunistic event, but most people never truly see it, understand it or accept it's loving freedom from their present imprisonment. It is within this remarkable, unaided courtship that a person can truly see that what he thinks about himself, what he thinks he should do for himself or what he thinks is best for himself can do nothing to fill his inward emptiness. Bottom line: He cannot make himself happy. He is not happy because he is not aware of his human condition. He thinks he is this condition, but he is not. He is something else, but doesn't know it. He does not want the truth because he thinks he must give up himself, yet these thoughts he has about himself are the underlying cause of his misery. How absurd man is! A man cannot think his way out of this unconscious state. It is only when a man sees this phenomena, when he exhausts all of his limited means, schemes, dreams and purposes, will he ever arrive at the door of child-like learning. To surrender himself he must: stand naked before God, not allow himself to fall back on past mental escape attempts, not know anything about where he must go or what he must do. Once he is completely exhausted from all of his futile attempts, will he then find himself at the door of a new, not just different, world. It is in this path oriented epoch that he will truly see the peace and strength of surrender, the beginning of true knowledge. Though he blunders 10,000 times, this unconditional love is always within his reach. It was made for him, before him and not created by him, (forgiveness is the true awareness of this fact and without his self-judgement or self-condemnation, brought about by his lower-leveled will, forgiveness itself would not need to exist). How absurd man is! He can be at peace and go wherever life leads him. He can now enter into a new world of not only not knowing, but not caring to know since he knows he knows nothing and that not knowing is the greatest knowledge of all. Blessings, r

Put It In Neutral

"THE RIGHT START"

'We wish a right start in these classes,' said Lee, a member
of a new study group. 'May we have some direction?'

'Start as if you know nothing at all about the way out. Now of
course this is insulting to vanity and frightening to hardened
thought. Do it anyway. Vanity and hardened thought can only keep
you in dismal prison. Dare to not know the answers, dare to dis-
card silly superstition which masquerades as respectable tradition.
Do this ten times a day, every time you feel tempted to pretend you
know what you are talking about. Pretense is the very prison itself.
Begin every day with the wonderment of not knowing what life is all
about. This is true power, refreshment and relief. Eventually, a new
feeling of rightness will arise within.'

You can make a new right start every single second, for your real
nature is not chained by five minutes or fifty years ago."

Inspire Yourself, p. 34 - VH

If you stop and take the time to watch children. This is what they do. They are not concerned with knowing anything. They know they don't know and have no pretense as to what is right or what is wrong. They are in neutral and moving forwards or backwards is of no concern to them. But, watch what happens when adults begin to say, "Don't do that" or "You are so good." Now a reinforcement interrupts a natural flow. I am not saying let little children play in the street with fast, moving cars or with bottles of poison. I am speaking of the adult mind. Thinking that it knows what is best for children and themselves. They have forgotten what a free mind is like, because they too, have become hardened with wrongful ideas surrounded by a false need of a purposeful engaging. Watch what happens when adults must declare a winner and a loser as children play. So, it should come as no surprise, that you have become a victim of winning, losing and results in your life. Many just accept that this is the way it is because they have forgotten what freedom is like, and besides, everyone else is doing it. Your television enhances and promotes winning, losing and results. They promote these ideas of "you need to know" and they do everything in their power to warehouse the masses. There are thousands of examples of these adult games and they are all fast sinking ships. It is up to you to observe it and choose the only way to win at the merry-go-round, "Don't Play!" Allow yourself to disengage several times a day. Observe what you are doing by watching and sensing your breathing, muscle tension, movements of your extremities and fingers. Become away of the room you are in and that you are in it. Notice the room's sound and color. Start by sitting for a bit, then as you get up and move, carry it with you. This is the only way you can begin to exist to yourself and not the masquerades of others. blessings, r

Trance

A man walking around thinking about himself is no different than his dreams while sleeping. As long as he does not exist to himself, he is asleep to life. In essence, there is no difference. You can introduce the beginning of a wonderful liberation if you would only slightly grasp this. No, we mustn't be like this. Take for instance a bad dream. While in the dream you have no ability to change the dream. You are at the mercy of it's direction and impulses. Your ego is on hold, it is powerless and you are trapped in it's story. Dreaming is an indication of deep sleep (REM). You are unconscious to yourself. A good dream will leave you sleeping, but a bad one (what we call a nightmare) may wake you up. Upon awakening, you may find your breathing rapid, you may be sweating profusely and your heart rate may be rapid, but as you gather yourself, you reach over and touch the loved one your dream was about and everything is okay. It was just a dream, a bad one, but just a dream. It may have temporarily had control of what you thought you were, but now that you are awake you see that it was just an illusion in slumber. Waking states are no different. A man walks around asleep if he is not conscious (aware) of what his body and movements are doing though his thought processes may be whirling a thousand miles a minute. The only way to snap the spell is through impartial, detached, self-observation. The difference between a man thinking about himself and impartial observation is nothing more than personalization. A thinking man believes he is his thoughts while a man in observation sees thoughts from afar and merely watches them pass by. He recognizes them and then drops them. A thinking man grabs hold as if he is mandated to do something about it. He does not realize that he doesn't have to do anything. He is unaware that he is free to drop any thought whatsoever. Incidentally, as a man grows more conscious of himself in his inward and outward environment (within the present moment), the speed of his thought processes are non-factors. Stick with these concepts for a few days. When they pop up, you will know it and you will know what to do. r

"Not too serious and not too lightly, rather seriously-lightly" Vernon Howard

Pogo Stick

I would not consider myself a religious man. My realizations have come to a wonderful conclusion that I, by nature, am one who doesn't easily conform to the orders of a maddened society. It is not cynical to see through the masks of men. I learned a very valuable asset for a true seeker and that is one of attraction rather than promotion. I am at best itinerant, a wanderer who listens to the beat of a distant drummer. I had at one time thought myself to be one who was becoming bitter, then realized my bitterness wasn't true independence but rather dependent fighting disguised as independence. I did this with my father for many years, but was to afraid to stand up for myself(and was never encouraged to do so). This followed me for many years and on into addiction. Fear the cause, addiction the symptom. I was reading the red print one day, after my release from treatment, and happened across these word's:

"If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it."

The 2 important phrases here, for me, are "deny himself daily" and "loses his life for me."

There is NO once saved always saved for me. That is only a fictitious idea and has no practical value in my life. My life is daily. What worked for me yesterday will probably not work today. Denying my excitements, my dreaming and my scheming. This is only half of daily denial. The other half is denying my FEAR, my doubts and any confusion that may be in the way. "Losing his life (which could just have easily said "lie") for me", not in spite or because it is, superficially, something to do. In order for me to begin to follow this great teaching, I must first, be aware of what I am to be denying. Watch yourself in the morning. See how "apparent" good fortune becomes parts of the pogo stick. Excitement then depression, plus then minus, dreaming and failure, ecstatic and exhaustion. Do you now see the purpose and application of denial? Do you now see what you should deny? It is the illusions your mind creates for you. Don't buy into it. Denial favors you, but only if you see it, first. Think about this for the next couple of days.

"The man who has nothing, has everything" Vernon Howard

Blessings, r