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Without gratitude, the possessions you now have carry the same value as the possessions you don't have. Blessings, r

Stand Up

It is impossible for two people to be psychologically connected. It is equally impossible that my care, concern, understanding or even love can do anything for you. For if that were true, then your hatred, unconcern, ignorance or even spite could harm me. Blessings, r

Icy Roads

Do you know what you are reaching for? Can you see your frivolous grasping at things that never develop? What do you now have in your possession that is truly yielding something of value, with which you can mark as something you have understood? These temporary vortexes that you constantly experience and conjure up are nothing but mere sideshows in the great stream of life. These constant mini-whirlpools, next to the bank, these illusory fabrications of desire you call your life. You have mistaken these little swirls as life's meaning, but you can't see they are not life's meaning. You cannot see life's meaning, because you cannot get away from your logical self. This plastic self is not real and you refuse to see it as not real. You believe that life is only what you make of it. You cannot see the stage and its many actors simply posing as magicians. I tell you, in every waking moment, there are angels waiting for you. It is possible to sit and not reach. It is possible to become aware of your grasping. There is an occupation of a self that exists that sees all you need is what you, now, already have. Life is trying to introduce you to yourself and it is evident by the white-out, blizzard conditions you find yourself in. Where there is the most despair, where there is the most difficulty, where there is the greatest powerlessness lies the angels of peace, truth and the you that you are looking for. Blessings, r

funny i am

had i not looked at the clock, i would have never felt guilty for sleeping late. oh, how sick i make myself. thoughts are like junk email, the bin needs to be emptied from time to time. if you give them too much play time, they're frequency will increase. blessings, r

Down Under

It is okay if you fall on your face. Believe me, I can attest to this on a daily basis. The beautiful thing about it, today, is I am aware of it. In the past when I fell, I just got stoned or drunk, bought myself something, apologized and when about my merry way, but I didn't go on my merry way. There was nothing merry about it, because I refused to look at it. I didn't feel change was necessary. I didn't know that there might be another way or if it even existed. Often times, it was too painful. Never think that you are above what you are and remember that both the act and the judgement of that act, occupy the same space. YOU cannot separate from yourself. YOU do not have the power to change yourself (just look at how little self-forgiveness you have). It is like a 4th grader telling another 4th grader how great the 5th grade is. Can you see a little better, now. I have only briefly sensed it since the beginning of this page. There are spiritual principles, when rightly and persistently followed, which can give great insight into these areas of you. Don't be afraid to not know. Watch that guilty feeling when you fall (I didn't say if you fall). Keep going in spite of the voices that are telling you, "you can't" or "it is all useless," or "your not worthy." There are many, including myself, who have fallen too (and often times much further). Get back on track. Remember those times when everything was okay because you were okay. No matter where you have gone or where you are, others have been there too. You are not alone. Christ said, "I will never leave you nor forsake you." That, "heaven and earth may come to pass, but my words are forever", and finally, "Deny yourself. Pick up you cross, daily (which includes right now!) and follow me." Love and Peace, with many Blessings. r

Toe Crusher

I have been writing in this open, personal journal for some time now. It has given me a wonderful opportunity to see the progression of my thoughts, as they pertain to the yeng and yang of the past several months. My intention, in the beginning, was to try and reach others through my experiences. Some say I have an innate ability to write down what I am thinking, while others may feel an attitude of overbearance and indifference,. I believe that both of these may be true, nonetheless, I will continue with my open prose because I enjoy it. So, after much earnest deliberation and rightful thinking, I asked, "Do you think that your religion is the narrow gate?" Let me re-phrase this. Is your church attendance, your public works or even your labeling yourself as a "believer" the narrow gate? If this were so, many would be liberated, yet there are so few who are free of doubt, fear, worry, strife, being right and ego-generated materialism. So I ask you again, "Is your self-completed life the narrow gate?" Mercy is not going to come from another person or some outward generated being. Your mercy originates from your own awakened heart. Everything you "really" need is within your reach. It is not separate from you. Don't let your religion or anyone confuse you or create an existence of some illusory, separate entity of which you are not a part of. A wonderful illustration to practically apply this is in Vernon Howard's Esoteric Mind Power. "Exam yourself. See for yourself. Place the spiritual before the material. Check your self-command first, rather than speaking to make an impression." There can be no doubt, if one first stops and sees where all good things really come from. Take your time, but stick with it. You will eventually see it, then everything will begin to make sense. The narrow gate is to wake up! To awaken your hardened heart. To see things as they are, not as you want them to be. To be a conscious and free human being. That is the aim. You can have that now, right this very minute. Wake up! blessings, r

Recognition

Truth never waivers. Though I may wander aimlessly, truth never does. Having known even the slightest glimpse, my life is changed forever. Blessings, r

Parenting and the Current of God

I was doing laundry this morning (re-read "House Husband") and I couldn't locate the clothes basket. I wandered down to my daughter's room to look for it (that is where I go if I need to locate the cordless phone, scissors or the channel changer). I knocked on the door and asked, "Sydney?". "Yes", she replied. "Are you dressed?", I asked. She answered, "Yes, come in". I opened the door to find her freshly bathed, in her robe, sitting on the bed with an expression on her face similar to a squirrel with a box of nuts. "What are you doing?" I asked. "Oh, just praying, you know, chatting", she calmly replied. I did find the laundry basket in her closet, picked it up and went on about the duty of doing the laundry. I begin folding the whites, all the while allowing her words to loom with me. After a little while I begin to feel the current of the spirit radiate through me. What was instigated by a small and brief conversation, soon levitated to something very meaningful to me. It then dawned on me that all of the pain and suffering that I endured in the beginning of my recovery from drug addiction, all the work I had to put in to learn how to live again, all the reading, praying, investigation and examination I have experienced, came to a resounding and culminating penultimacy in a very brief moment. That these tumultuous efforts really didn't go unnoticed and, in time, inexplicably permeate to those around us. The transfer is inevitable. The current of God is a living, intelligible love. How grateful I am for my life and for the opportunity to have, even if only briefly, experienced something beyond myself. How beautiful is the gift of parenting, belonging, purposefulness and the current of God. Blessings, r

Cold Food

Most people live their entire lives trying to prevent things that never happen. You say that your beliefs are true, but what good are they to you if you forget to live them. What good does belief do for people who have never known how to live a practical life. (Sniglet: Good things come to those who shower frequently). Blessings, r

Road Block

Everything that I may perceive and experience, whether physical, mental or emotional, is directly related (100%)to my thought process. How I view all outward things is entirely based and motivated from an inward makeup (or attitude). I could then assume that all psychosomatic disorders can be attributed to a negative waver in one's psychological viewpoints of what they think they need, what they assume to know or not know and any or all related outward measures which are assumed to be their demise. Very simply: You are what and how you think. It can be no different. We all know that outward circumstances or things have no bearing on one's internal makeups. It all happens from the inside out. However, there are some who see these conflicts as an opportunity to not only change, but further fuel an inward conquest of that beautiful kingdom we have come to know as the True Self. All of our assumed abnormalities, when conditioned over time, can definitely created further problems (what today may be coined as syndromes), which can be traced, though not entirely, to seasonal, conditional or situational thought processes. When seen in it's entirety, many will discount, flee or discard. Those who do not see these as viable options are closest to seeing something unique about themselves and very special. It is when in the company of these subtle, yet powerful forces, that we arrive at a brink of self-realization and the acknowledgement of personal truth.