Traverse

It is easy to maneuver the darkness into dormancy when you are at home, but watch what happens when you go out into the world. Who is maneuvering whom? You should see that you are not unified, but still divided. In the world you are still trying to make a stand. You are still defending. You are still trying to find someone or something to agree with you, to authenticate your beliefs, your position, your labels, your identity. You want something or someone to say to you that what you are doing is okay. That you are okay. That you are right. I have pegged you haven't I? I have and you know it. You think that your life is about you. You and your vanity are doing everything in their power to convince you and the world that you are right, but your heartache and despair show otherwise. So you drift. You drift because you are evil, your deeds are evil, you secretly want this nonsense, but you do not know what to do. Do you really think you have been honest with yourself? When will you stop these smokescreens? How long will you continue to wear your many masks? You are still running into yourself aren't you? Every morning you continue to meet the same person. Can you not see that you want the darkness more than the light? Ah! alas, I have struck a nerve. There are a few that have traveled this path. There are a few who have found their way out, but you will not hear them. You still think you can find your way out alone, but you continue to sabotage any certainty. You would rather continue in this self bondage. Why? It is because you secretly desire it. You won't let go of it because you think that you will have to give up something and your pitiful ego won't allow that, will it? How do you like yourself now? Ask yourself if you are really living your own life. You are not and now you know it. There is encouraging news: There is a way out. All that is required is a desire to change; a willingness to progress in a right, not just different, direction. Perfection and control, however, are not permitted. You are thinking that there is no hope, but it is exactly that lack of hope, that complete doubt, that absolute helplessness and hopelessness that will allow you to begin something new and different. Hang on to it and don't you dare go out and do something to replace it or cover it up. You have been doing that already and it doesn't work. Stop turning away from it, remain empty. Just let it sit their. You can handle it. It won't hurt you. Ask yourself: What great evil power am I at the mercy of? There isn't one is there?