10 eyes

How is it, that in life, I am separate from God, but in death, I am joined with God? I am not buying what they are selling. The ideas of man are only creating divisions in me. If I believe I am with God, then who and what are these different selves. What is this "I" that wants to be separate? If I am with, what can be or what is, against? My ideas, whether bought or learned, must be wrong. I should turn in early, I am tired of listening to I.